First of all, let's be clear... I love porn. porn's great...however I think one's love of porn should be a somewhat private thing.

I just had a huge blowout with the bf because I realized that he had added many women from various countries with scantily clad and/or nude profile pics. Many of these are of course, not real profiles, however, they are visible when you visit bf's facebook profile. (As in, to our friends, our families)

On a completely separate note, last weekend he told me he had a new email buddy from Australia with whom he flirts.

When discussing the issue tonight, he actually lied and said he had never had a facebook conversation with any of these women, and that he added them to increase his Mafia Wars mafia.

This is of course incredibly stupid, especially since I actually (ashamedly) looked in his facebook inbox and saw a conversation which he initiated with a woman from Italy, and she did not seem interested, yet he sent her several messages.

I called him on it, and he says he feels bad for lying, and that he didn't realize that this whole thing was really disrespectful and stupid until I called him on it.

How could this not be seen as an immature and generally stupid mistake for a person in a long term realtionship to make?

I'm missing how his deceit is related to porn. He lied. It doesn't matter if he's known you a day or a dozen years. You don't trust him.

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The deceit isn't related to porn...the complete lack of common sense in not realizing that by adding all of the porn-girls he was publicly making an immature "I like boobies" statement is related to porn.
The lack of foresight in realizing this would be a problem is where the trust issue lies. If he can't connect the dots in his head about this, is he going to be obtuse about other things that will really upset me?
I think I've said "boys are stupid" about 100 times since this happened.
Bottom line is, how do you deal with someone who can cross a line so completely with absolutely no malicious will? Just because he didn't MEAN to upset me doesn't make upset go away.
When a woman does not seem insanely jealous, will the idiot she's with push the envelope until he gets a reaction?

For adults, there is nothing wrong with porn, cyber sex, exchanging hot pics or sending your drippy panties to 'some nice guy'. It's FaceBook that is evil!






That's my opinion

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Yes and yes. At least, that has been my experience.

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Some people don't see e-flirting and e-rotica as having an extension into the real world, basically as a really complicated kind of masturbation.

It does intrude when other people become aware of it.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I would say that what he's doing is not that much different than going to a site like www.imlive.com. However, I do agree that knowing someone watches porn (honestly, who doesn't?) and actually having friends and family find out exactly what you watch or like in porn are two different things and should not be publicly announced. Now I know that sounds like I'm contradicting this site, however Pixies is a gray area and there is an adult understanding of anonymity. Also, if he has to lie about it I'd say in my very unprofessional opinion, he's ashamed of it. I could be wrong.

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf