Those are grrrrrrrreat Nubian! Thanks! (LOVE the Methodist one!!!) LMAO

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

How they change the light bulbs in the original Star Trek

Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead.

Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives.

Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.

Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection.

Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry.

Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk and party.

The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

LOL- that's as bad as when sombody asks about jazz.

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Cheyanne-
How did you get to see the script for Star Treck XVIII?




LMAO

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Why didn't they just beam up a bulb? OMG LOL LOL






*beam me up snotty....er....i mean scotty!*

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

How would Captain Kirk get to fight the giant cave worm or fuck the chiefs daughter if they did that Randy?

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well instead of beaming it up... they could send the bulb with the unnamed crew man from the landing party... he could be electrocuted as he screwed it into the socket....

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-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

Actually with UMC members you usually have to have it referred up to the bishop, and it'll get tabled for discussion at the next General Conference.

How many MSCEs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just wait for Bill Gates to declare Dark(tm) to be the new standard.

*dadaist, how does one make the TM mark in a forum like this?* LOL





How many Carl Sagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?





Billions and billions.

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?




Two.
One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools and round orbs.

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

How many dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?









Two...but we still can't figure out how they got in there

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Life? O that thing again!

"I now leave you to your moosey fate"

Are we there yet?

LMAO ryker....

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Stand back people, crap joke master coming through......

Q. How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. That's a hardware problem.

Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a software problem.

Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway

Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three:
One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and
one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done

Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!!!

Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

OK that's it for now.................although I might be back

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FussyPucker

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!

The Special One!