03-27-2004, 03:21 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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Raven -
"Slut" is just a lable...nothing else. And...if you don't fee that you are one (in its negative connotations only) then you aren't one! Here is an article that you may find helpful....
http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0339/taormino.php
A quote from http://www.segnbora.com/whatis.html
that I found particularly interesting...
Sexual philanthropy! Do people go around insulting monetary philanthropists, saying they're immoral, untrustworthy, low-class? Nope. Usually we praise philanthropists for making other people's lives easier; we approve of volunteers for donating their time and labor to others, and in both cases, people try to promote these kinds of helping by emphasizing that it is fun for the giver. But if it's sex being given, in most people's minds there must be something wrong with getting pleasure from giving pleasure. To me, this just means that most people are nuts. How anyone who enjoys sex themselves could possibly put down someone else's enjoyment of sex is really beyond me. (As for those who don't enjoy sex, I just pity them.)
The only concern that I have for you is this - It is like a kid let lose in a candy store that has never tasted chocolate....this kids walks into the store - eyes open wide, and takes a little taste of a piece of chocolate...soon the kid is eating everything in site without regard to what this may do to him/her physically/emotionally/mentally. The store clerk is looking at ths kid like "Wow! I have hit the jackpot and I am gonna use this kid for all that I can!" and keeps feeding this kid candy until this kid is sick....in more ways than one.
So, after that analogy this is what I have to say to you....I know that you are careful, but also keep in mind that there are people out there that will use your new found "freedom" to their advantage - and think nothing of destroying you in the process...and they can destroy you with lables if you allow them to. Unfortunately, this is just your first encounter being judged by others who have a set of standards that are in the dark ages...
(((((HUGS))))) Raven
Chey
__________________
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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03-27-2004, 04:19 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,565
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I will tell you exactly what I told a very sexy young woman I worked with who was going through finding out she had contracted an STD and was devastated..
Just because you can say NO, doesn't mean you always should and likewise just because you can say YES, doesn't mean you always have to.
You are you......not the labels people try to attach to you. They only stick if you let them.
Max Lucado has written a great kid's book about this very topic ( well but not sexual ) You Are Special. I hope more parents teach their kid's not to accept prescribed labels...those kids would also be less likely to hand them out.
Chin Up Raven!
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03-27-2004, 04:42 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 908
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Yea, I do it bc I just like sex, not for anyone else.
btw, yes I've experimented with girls, so I might be bi now.
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03-27-2004, 06:03 PM
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Call me Mr Right
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Too far away from sanity
Posts: 466
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*sigh* So much easier for girls to get laid then guys.
Sex is good either way though.
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03-28-2004, 05:26 AM
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Prince of Pervs
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England
Posts: 2,612
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Raven18, if you're happy with yourself then there's no problem.
If you have to post like this then you're either happy with yourself and you just want to "brag" about what you're doing or you're not happy with yourself and you want to change your life.
What ever it is you don't need to listen to anyone but yourself.
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FussyPucker
There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...
Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!
The Special One!
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03-28-2004, 11:38 AM
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Gone with the Wind
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: some place new, and interesting
Posts: 862
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In some way, I think that most of the readers here, but for Cheyanne, missed my point.
Am I viewed here as a woman so far from "normal" that my views are not taken seriously?
THE WORD SLUT IS A STUPID, IGNORANT LABEL OF A MALE DOMINATED SOCIETY, AND WHEN WOMEN USE IT NEGATIVELY THEY ARE BUYING IN TO THE SELF -LOATHING AND DENIAL ABOUT THEIR OWN REAL SEXUAL DESIRES AND THOUGHTS.
I AM A SLUT, AND IT IS A POSITIVE THING!!!!
There is nothing wrong with monogamy.
Of course as a nurse in an outreach clinic I see dozens of young women who staying in hurtful, abusive monogamous relationships because they don't know what else to do.
Does that mean that all women in monagamous relationships are destined for abuse? Of course not.
So are women like me, who embrace their sexual selves, their desires, passions and simple interest in raw sexuality, destined for STD's, AIDS, rape, or the eventual "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" horrible, violent death?
My one experience with STD was from my own dear rat -bastard shit -head hubby, at a time when I was purely monogamous.
And yes, I have had violent encounters. I wrote about one here. My mistake was ignorance of male self esteem. I made a joke about his penis. I was still young, inexperienced, and got physically and mentally bruised.
I learned.
There is nothing wrong with embracing your sexual self.
It is a sign of a sick world that when you are a woman who does so, it is a bad thing.
Wanda
__________________
"I wondered, am I a lesbian, am I straight, or bisexual? Then I realized that I am just a slut.
So where's MY parade?"
---Margaret Cho
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03-28-2004, 01:19 PM
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Causer of Unrest
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,005
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Quote:
Originally posted by bordendazed
If it feels good, you are not hurting anyone (without explicit consent) and you are not violating your personal limits of comfort, and you fee lsecure in the environemnt you are in, then THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with doing what you want to!
If you like something and can share it with someone else than that is all the better!
Relax, all is well! HAVE FUN!
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I agree, whole-heartedly. Don't let a puritanical culture put its warped "stuff" about sex onto you. Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you. We forget that. Well, maybe not the folks here, but the world in general. Sex is a natural thing. It's only when we pile up the baggage upon it that it changes into something to worry about. Nothing is so good or bad as thinking makes it so. I wish I could have more threesomes--good on ya!
Enjoy your sexuality, be safe and smart, and stop worrying. We women have a hard enough time accepting our sexuality at all, let alone on our own terms. But we have needs, drives, and desires as much as any man. And if you, newly deflowered Raven, can avoid ANY of the self-doubt that we've all felt, that would be revolutionary. What other people think of you is none of your business. The only person you need to be okay with is you.
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03-28-2004, 05:00 PM
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Ethical Epicurean
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Santa Monica California
Posts: 1,570
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You are a sexual human being.And you have discovered it's all good.Lilith is absolutly right and Wicked Wanda is correct about the origin of the word.However,If you still think you are a slut,PM me for my address and if you ever find yourself in Southern California,Pulleeze stop by.
__________________
Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller
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03-28-2004, 05:15 PM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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forget labels, forgive ignorance, live life to the fullest, be safe and don't let other's define you....that's your job, and your's alone
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03-28-2004, 05:38 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 17
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I hate being labeled. I have my flings were I go wild and have picked up men and woman for the purpose of having sex. I still do it but I do use protection now a days. I been having sex since I was a sophmore in H.S and been called other things also. For all the people I have had sex with I had a few of them calling me that and I stopped what ever act I was in and walked or told them to get out. Im 43 now you could do the math. I went through a lot of men plus in my younger days I worked as a topless dancer. I can't even count how many bjs and lays I had. I have a high sex drive still to this day, and my S/O knows it. Now I have 7 fuck buddies that are married and we swing with most so to us its not cheating because there s/o knows to. Once in a while if I see a hot guy out there ill play if im in the mood. buy safe sex only.........
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03-28-2004, 05:53 PM
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I Yam What I Yam
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Washington
Posts: 416
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Guys live for sluts!
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03-29-2004, 04:51 AM
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I make sexytime with you
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,616
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Slut-dom is in the mind of the term's definer. I would define a slut as someone (male or female) who engages in some sort of deceit or dishonest exploitation of other people, habitually, for sex.
__________________
I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters
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03-29-2004, 01:30 PM
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Magic Tongue
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: near stuttgart (Germany)
Posts: 747
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not in my eyes
i do not think that makes u a slut.
i know there are people out there and not quite a few, who might say so. but these are the same people who would ove to do the same or even have sex with 5 different partners in two weeks or less. but then they are proud of. that especially is for the boys.
u are the greatest for ur peeps if u have had lots of women but exactly these women they call slut afterwards. i do not understand that. i think very unlogic and kind of dump.
so don't give a shit about what this people say.
as u said by ur self, u do it bc of the fun. and there is nothing wrong with having sex. and also not with having several different partners. if it feels ok for u there is no problem.
it becomes slutty if u have sex bc u want something in return, i.e. a better job, good marks, money, ...
but if u do it for fun and lust - it's the best thing u can do and it is more than ok to share that thing with many other people.
i think most of my words have already been spoken, but that can't be told often enough.
so keep having fun. :lust: :3: :bsex:
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03-29-2004, 03:06 PM
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Manwhore
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 15,495
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((((WW))))
Kudos to you WW!! I'm right with you. A slut is someone that loves sex. I think if you want to get into a label that denotes bad hygiene, that falls under the label: Skank. But whether slut or skank, they are just labels. I also think you need not be female to be a slut, as I totally consider myself to be a slut! I may have not had but one partner in the last six years or so, but I am still a slut. It's only a bad label if you want it to be. Cheer up Raven, you're in good company.
__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.
Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien
In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these
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03-29-2004, 03:35 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Pikes Peak is my back yard
Posts: 70
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I would not your a slut. 7 guys since Feb, sounds to me like your finding your sex drive, and experimenting. But then again your also talking to a guy that slept with 14 ladies in 14 weeks. But once you find that one person to spend the rest of your life with you can show him a thing or two. And Rock his world
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Lush has spoken and noone hears me :-((
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