So my dear sweet bastard of a friend Mr. Skipthisone used to give me the worst grief over my baking follies. I just suck at it. I ALWAYS fuck it up. No matter how hard I try or how close attention I think I am paying I invariably make some miscalculation and it turns out like shit.

This years fiasco involves being very aware of the labeling of a new or new to you product. I, feeling wayyyyyyyyyyyyy overconfident, decided to take on spritz, sweet little crisp butter cookies made using a cookie press. The dough was beatuful for the first batches and the cookies seemed to be turning out ok, despite a few browned dozen. So as I made a new batch of dough I opened a bag of new flour I bought just for these delicacies that is a softer flour. Thinking that if the first batch turned out well this batch would totally rock, I mixed away. As I was throwing the new flour bag in the trash I noticed the labelling, self rising It was at that moment I knew my favorite bastard, wherever the hell he is, was laughing his damn ass off. So now I have Poofz not Spritz. The motto: Check twice bake once

Please feel free to add your helpful tips so that we may be spared our own personal embarrassment by laughing at yours

In these pics I paired up the Spritz with it's matching steroid enhanced cousin Poofz.

Attached Images

	package 124.jpg (38.9 KB, 221 views)
	package 125.jpg (25.8 KB, 216 views)
	package 126.jpg (25.3 KB, 219 views)
	package 127.jpg (22.6 KB, 212 views)

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Although my story is about baking, my happened about 3 Thanksgivings ago...

Thanksgiving was at my apartment for my kids and my parents, I had been cooking and preparing all day. I made my specialty, sage prochutto stuffing and from scratch pumkin pie. Since my table was small and could only hold our place settings and beverages, i set everything on what little counter space that i had and was going to serve buffet style. In order to make serving the turkey easier i deboned it and put it in the nice matching blue glass Pyrex pans that i had. I set them on the stove and went on getting the seving spoons. I smelled turky cooking a little stronger that what was just a few moments before, and realized that the burner on the stove was still on! as i reached to move the pan, the glass shattered and ALL the surrounding food was covered in glass! I just stood in the kitchen and bawled!

We ended up eating store bought chicken and side dishes that year....

(my pans are all metal now)

I say you take your Poofz™, throw together some clever marketing and bright packaging (or bright marketing and clever packaging) and sell a buttload next year.

<announcer>Tired of the same old Spritz cookies during the holiday season? Well, we've got the cookie for you! Introducing Poofz™, from the Bitchmod Bakery©. Lighter and fluffier than run of the mill Spritz cookies, Poofz™ will make you the envy of every host after they hear their guests ask, 'Hey, who brought those Bitchen cookies?' Look for Poofz™ in your local bakery aisle or next to the bondage gear at your nearest adult novelty retailer. </announcer>

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

LOL Aqua! that is perfect!

OMG lizz my girlfriend did that with a pyrex dish fill with sweet potato souffle. Horrid mess. Glad no one got hurt.

Aqua... I've always wanted my own line of Bitch Scout Cookies

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Poofz are taking to the airwaves!

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

roflmfao!!!!!

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Aqua...that was fabulous!!!

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Aqua you are sooooooo good *LMAO*

__________________

I can't bake anything either, Lil...and I gave up trying years ago. I'm the woman who can turn instant brownies into brickbats.

I'm proud of you for still TRYING to bake.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Aqua that was soooo funny that i nearly woke everyone up by laffing too loudly!

the back ground music was great...bow-chi-chi-bow-bown! Sooo porno!

*snickers at lil*

my tips:

if a recipe calls for a cup of coffee, it does not mean coffee from a can, it means brew some godamn coffee and use a cup of the liquid...the liquid.

read a recipe through first. if you begin by just chucking all the ingredients in a bowl, you may find that when you get to the instructions, you did it all wrong.

when a recipe calls for butter, don't melt it first to get the proper measurement ... there are neat little lines right on the side of the package for your convenience.

do not think that just because your baking powder/soda is out of date you should just double the amount. funny enough, that shit just don't work that way.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I believe this should be attributed to comedian Killer Beez...

"The recipe said, 'cover the bottom of the pan with grease'...y'all wanna hear what the Fire Marshall had to say about that?"

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

lmfao^^

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Baking soda and baking powder are not, I repeat, are NOT interchangable.
There is a recipe card with my mom that has a handwritten note as a result of a waffle mishap, "If intent is to poison siblings, substitute baking soda for baking powder"

__________________
“Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.” - Buckminster Fuller

"A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself." - Guildenstern, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”