
09-01-2003, 02:23 PM
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Wanting More
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 2,019
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Nature vs. Nurture?
 Probably a stupid thread I've got here, but I was just curious to see how everyone replies...
Thinking about your sex life and your feelings about the subject...
Do you think the way you do about sex/enjoy what you do sexually because of parental influence growing up(parents telling you things were wrong, or maybe finding Dad's Playboys as a kid, for example)?
OR, did you make sure to pave your own path by letting your environment and other life circumstances influence your sex life and ideas once you were old enough to make your own decisions?
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Though dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts; they serve for sweet relieving when fantasy and reality lie too far apart.-Fiona Apple
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09-01-2003, 02:46 PM
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1 of 8,213,984,035
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Join Date: Sep 2001
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Definitely nature here.  I believe the nurture part that parents play is only a basic starting point as it takes place at the same time we are beginning to gather information from the outside world and have our own experiences. Perhaps that’s why it’s so important.
For the most part, our sex life is a private thing we develop for ourselves and continues throughout our lives to evolve. In this area of our life, our experience becomes the “nurture” we find to match our “nature”. I’ve found it to be a wonderful trip that takes a while to “fit” you in the most comfortable way.
(Just one view) 
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09-01-2003, 03:18 PM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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Probably some impact from both ... initially more "nuture" but as the years went by, generally more of a "nature" influence.
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09-01-2003, 05:42 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
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If I listened to my mother I would still not know how to masturbate  It took me like 30 years to figure out that it was ok to flirt and allow the world to see me as a thriving sexual being. I was a prude, born and raised that way. Then nature took control 
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09-01-2003, 07:43 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Culver City, CA, US
Posts: 226
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I've often thought that the first exposure to the Playboy in your dad's sock drawer is often the defining moment in a boy's (and probably more often than not) sexual evolution. Probably responsible for setting in stone a certain body image...although my preference is nothing like either the typical '60s Playboy type or my mom.
It's only been in the last few centuries, really, that children have been purposefully sheltered from exposure to normal marital sex or watching how the birds and the bees (as well as horses and dogs) do it.
I think the next step for boys is that first moment when our bodies produce that first shot of testosterone, and we cease to think with our big heads.
After that, it all has to do with how we act on our impules.
In fact, BCG and Lil are giving me impulses right now...
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09-01-2003, 09:06 PM
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Pixie since 9/3/2001
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 16,995
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In my case I'd have to say nuture. Had a very open up-bring until parents diveroced, but I was 14 then and set in my ways.
P.S. My dad order my first Playboy in his name for me(I had to pay for it)
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09-02-2003, 12:04 AM
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~Imaginary lover~
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 9,432
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Nature here.........
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09-02-2003, 02:51 AM
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Prince of Pervs
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: England
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Natural born perv 
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09-02-2003, 04:06 AM
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Ethical Epicurean
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Santa Monica California
Posts: 1,570
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Bravo for Lilith...Just look at you now.... I think nature played a big roll in my life. I was a 1/2 hip and 1/2 naive kid.I never learned the "lessons" that sex was taboo. When I was 14 and my dad had back surgery and was laid up for a couple of weeks,I walked in to the family drug store and picked up a PlayBoy magazine took it to the counter and gave the lady a doller.She looked at me kind of funny and gave me my quarter change.But the thought never occured to me that some people would think it was wrong for a minor to buy it.I could never understand why some people thought sex was dirty.It always seemed natural to me.
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09-02-2003, 06:12 AM
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Everybody Stretch!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pa. USA
Posts: 11,637
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Talking about sex in my household when I was growing up? Didn't exist! What I learned when I was young...I learned from friends and in sex education in school. As the years went by I "became" what I am today through curiousity and experimentation. I think I must have thought sex was a bad thing when I was still young....because I remember when I discovered what a BJ was...I thought.......ewwww! I ain't ever doing that...NEVER! Little did I know! LOL!
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09-02-2003, 08:27 AM
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I do naked cartwheels.
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Hmmm, good question.
I'd say in my live, yeah nurture played a big part - but not in the way you think. I think I was brought up to believe that sex was Bad and Naughty and Rude - which made me more and more interested (of course!) I was lucky enough to be born in an age where bulletin boards and the internet were big, and as a 13/14 year old would often hop on the net and "Play Games" - yeah right! It was whatever XXX I could get my hands on!
Discover a playboy in my dad's sock drawer?? Not a chance!! Luckily I had brothers for that, and I was quite a snoop!
CasperTG
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09-02-2003, 05:44 PM
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dragon mane
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: uk manchester
Posts: 778
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sex was not discussed in my home but as i believe in the
idear that it take a village to raise a child other influses
must have impacted on my life it has to be some of both
nature and nurture iam bisexual and as far as i know
iam the only one in my famly
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09-03-2003, 07:43 AM
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Bouncy Bunny
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,252
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Nature here... Growing up in a single parent "religous" household, you dont get taught much other than If you have Sex outside marriage you are going to hell.....
 Oh well...
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09-03-2003, 06:00 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: OR
Posts: 530
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Actualy my dad's an old perv...  not that I'm saying that in a bad way, but that's how I came about. He's been married around 8 times and still dates multiple women half his age. (he's 80 this year) and somehow even though I was the first and only one of his kids he raised he managed to be open with me and yet make me respect myself. When your younger there's that fine line, you want to do it all, but then what's left?!  My dad actualy has a lot of respect for women, he's just a little wild to ever settle down. He let me know that being a lady wasn't being prude but standing up for exactly what you want and nothing else. And yet I'm still embarassed when he comes to my house and makes jokes about our bed calling it my husband's "play pen".  Coming from his time he is definately one of a kind.
and he had playboy mags but they were mixed in with the popular science on our coffee table, I guess I never noticed it may be wierd until much later on!
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09-03-2003, 09:13 PM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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Nature here too. Had a unique family dynamic where I was on my own quite a bit. Single mother and all that, so didn't get much input on the subject that way. So my sexual development came by way of friends, school, experimentation and good ole trial and error.
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