So, I thought I'd brighten it up with some cute little jokes I got from a friend ...

---

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll
serve you, but don't start anything."
~~~~~~~~
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry,
we don't serve food in here."
~~~~~~~~
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
~~~~~~~~~~
A string walks into a bar. The bartender says "We
don't serve strings here."He crumples him up and
tosses him out onto the sidewalk where he gets all
scraped up and tangled. The string walks right back in
and orders a drink. Amazed, the bartender asks, "Hey,
aren't you that same string I just threw out?" The
string answers, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"
~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under
his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the
road."
~~~~~~~~~~
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
~~~~! ~~~~~~~
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of
home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is
it common?" "It's not unusual."
~~~~~~~~
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated
this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've
lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My
dog's cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for
him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at
him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to
have to put him down." "What?, Because he's
cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really! heavy."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50
bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top
shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when
they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once
and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat
it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the
other and says "dam".
~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a good day!

LMAO! TY for the smiles!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Glad you enjoyed. I thought they were cute.

Thanks for the great start to my morning!! Loved 'em!!!

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin
*******************
My Stories:
Dream Date
Just Desserts
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 1
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 2
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 3
RAVISHED!!
My Birthday - A Fantasy

*groans & giggles*

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Teehee

Whoa! The steaks are too high! That set my corn-alert off!

Those were the stupidist things I ever read....cannot believe I read them all and LMAO

__________________
Love...the slowest form of suicide.

__________________
*it's all Christine's fault

__________________

Thankyou for the HUGE giggles........I've needed them lately! LOL LOL

__________________
Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

((((((((RG)))))))))) Missed you oodles!!!!!!!

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

*blushing* Lilith...yer so kind!

I peek in all the time but, well, ya know........I'm never far away.

__________________
Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

RG, glad you enjoyed. Nothing fancy, but I found myself laughing at them just like STO.

A couple more....

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into a bar... had to get three stitches.

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these