Damn... I feel for ya but I guess in the long run the nice guy finished ahead of them all. That sounds kinda what I went through, prhaps my situation was not as drastic but similar. I went to a catholic school up untill the 8th grade in terre haute IN. Then I was fourced out into the public schooling system in the 9th grade. It was tough for me, I had trouble making friends and wound up in the wrong croud. I ended up befriending a bunch of pot-heads. I didn't ever smoke the stuff but i saw how lucrative drug dealing was. I was young for my grade (I didnt turn 16 untill x-mas vacation my junior year) so I couldn't get a real job. So i figured that I would grow some weed for a little extra cash. It started off as 3 pants in the back garage in my freshman year, but by the time i turned 17 I had built my dope empire. I had it growing in 13 locations all over town (mostly out in the sticks) I had more money than I could have ever wanted (57 grand) but I couldn't spend it as people would wonder where I got the cash as it was well known that I had no job. In the summer of that year one of my growing locations had been found (finally) and I wanted to end it. Easyer said than done. I owed several people big time, and trent, my "buisness partner", had been buying up weed from the west coast without my knoledge. He figured that we could sell 20 kilos of weed for a profit before anyone found out. He got caught with it 2 weeks before graduation and is still in jail. I graduated, packed my bags and left town by myself in my '65 MG. I applied for colledge at Georgia Tech and spent every penny of my weed money on tuition. It was looking pretty good, but then in my softmore year the law caught up with me. I told them everything and gave them names of varios drug dealers from the west coast (Ironically I never would have had that information if it hadent been for trent who had been buying fron those same dealers). Luckily for me I had come up with enough dirt on other dealers that I was given a full pardon, but there was a catch. I had to keep my grades up. So the FBI kept tabs on me untill I was 22 at that time they agreed to eleminate my criminal record for helping them with the other dealers. After colledge was done I moved to Houston TX. and I now work for Lockheed as a technical engineer. I'm making 90 grand a year and those other guys are in jail getting gang-rapped.

I'm well awhare that my shortened life story had absolutely nothing to do with love or sex (I continue to search for "the one") But I figured that I would throw that in there as it does proove that even if you are totally screwed and the shit has hit the fan and the future seems bleak and you dont think that you can go on, you can still turn your life around and be the nice guy (or girl) who finished first.

__________________
"I didn't say everything I said"

-Yogi Berra

"Running is good. It is good for your feet, and it is good for your legs. It is also good for the ground, it makes it feel needed"

-Snoopy

oooooh, an important question, actually.

We are attracted to a girl, at least for the first few milleseconds after a visual stimulus, by her looks first, secondarily by her smell, sound, feel, etc. This attraction, right away, is usually wrong because we develop our visual attraction from our first look at our dad's playboy, from our mom , our first girlfriend, our 7th grade science teacher , whatever.

That attraction brings us to someone who is by the odds wrong in bed or wrong in the head. At least for us

Beautiful women (LA 9s and 10s...) probably never learned how to be good in bed (at least in my experience), and probably will be looking at the guy's car and watch and ATM slips before his "niceness". The BW will most likely have low self esteem, which can be exploited by the not-nice men. The BW will set up their ideal (bad-boy, sugar daddy, daddy replacement, whatever) and have a self-perpetuating cycle of the wrong guy, while the nice guys are not on their list at all.

Personally, I know the shortcuts guys can use (the Double Your Dating newsletters, Leykis 101, etc), but I like shortcutting around the initial attraction thing to find out if I really like someone, or if she likes me. The internet helps.