My boyfriend (like, I would imagine, every guy ever) wants to have a threesome. I'm not against the idea, in fact messing around with another girl is something I've always wanted to do. But I'm kind of afraid of what it means for our relationship. In theory, I don't think I would mind it, but in reality I don't know how I would feel seeing him have sex with another girl. We are in a long distance relationship, and I'm afraid that if we have a threesome, I won't be able to trust him anymore, or it might make things weird around us.

Ladies: Did you ever have a threesome with your significant other? How did you approach it, and did it change your relationship?

Guys: Does wanting a threesome mean your girl is not enough for you? And do you think you wouldn't be satisfied with just her from that point, or think differently about her?

I don't wanna rush into this...any help would be appreciated!

Cherry

My bf and i have been wanting to do the ffm 3sum for quite a while now.The trouble is finding the right person.We've placed ads,gotten replys but never really found anyone for real.I recently
started talking w/another female and i can honestly say in the whole time we've been looking she so far is the most real person i've talked to.As far as wether i feel like i'm enough for him or not lol thats not the case at all...i want to do this for both of us.At this point in our relationship i have no question that it would be totally coolWe did the mmf thing way back and i was afraid it would kill the relationship..we both had 2nd and 3rd thoughts but we did it and neither of us were comfortable with it.That was over a year ago..so yep we are still together.My thought on the ffm 3sum working for us is because i'm bi so i think it'll be just something else we can have fun with Think about it though..and if you do have fears talk them out with your s.o.
GOOD LUCK

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CAPTIVATE MY ATTENTION, POSSESS MY BODY, INVADE MY MIND, ROCK MY WORLD AND, CALL ME "YOUR" BITCH... YOU KNOW MY HUNGER, YOU OWN MY DESIRE, YOU HAVE MY WILL, TAKE ME BABY... DIVINE PLEASURE

I think he would enjoy taking you while watching you going down on the other gir that way there would be no contact between him and her and yet he still gets the threesome.. and if that works out with out any problems and every one is comfortable you could try a full on threesome?

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Some people they like to go out dancing
and other peoples they have to work, just watch me now
And there's even some evil mothers, haha
well they're gonna tell you that everything is just dirt
You know that women never really faint and that villains always blink their eyes, ooohhh
And that, you know children are the only ones who blush
and that life is just to die

sweet jane the velvet underground

I think you're right about "every guys dream", I know I used to dream of a 3-some with me & two girls...... never did get to try it either! But, with age comes (a LITTLE bit of) "real-life"!!

Last things first - definitely DON'T rush into it, especially in a LTR like you have..... I reckon it's a bit like getting a tattoo - quick & easy to do, but you have to live with it for the rest of your life!
As far as thinking you're "not enough" for him - I really don't think it's that at all... more likely it's a fantasy he has, and one which he wants to share WITH YOU!! If he knows you are interested, that may be why he's brought it up in the first place?!?!

As to whether he'd be satisfied with "just you"..... well, that's something that neither of you will know until/unless it actually happens! I had a MFM 3some a few years ago, with my ex-wifes best friend and her husband... it was totally spontaneous (I think!!!) and I enjoyed it a lot more than I would have imagined.. BUT, we ended up sleeping together by ourselves later, and they have since split up... don't know if that had anything to do with it, but...........

Jeez, ALL my posts today are turning into novels!! I think what it boils down to in the end is - Do you trust each other enough to try it, and walk away if you have ANY reservations? And, have you thought about who the third-party will be? THAT could be the most awkward aspect of the whole idea!!

Good luck with your decision..... and if you DO do it.. come back & tell us what happened!

DM

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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

CherryChick248---It's not every guys fantasy!I have never particularly,wanted a threesome.My opinion is that it depends on
the certain persons lifestyle.Sorry if I blew some peoples minds here.I don't think that it's wrong for some,but it's just not my thing! Irish
P.S.Different strokes,for different folks!

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

It is a fantasy for me because seeing two women together is a turn on. To be able to be in the same room and participate is a part of that.

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Flattery will get you everywhere!

I feel the same way you do cherrychick, except on the opposite side of the coin. My Gf is secure that I wouldnt run off with the girl, but im not so sure my Gf wouldnt run off with the girl. I guess its an ego issue

YES to your first sentence. lol (except for Irish- LMAO)

Now for the difficult part. My limited diversions to this interesting (and mostly) pleasant venue says that your long distant relationship does add an erratic burden to an already ticklish issue as dm383 pointed out. You may want to consider any venture into this new area from a less complicated start.

Strongest point you have is that it’s something you BOTH are interested in doing. I’ve found that even when somebody really wants to have a 3sum “for the other person”, it leaves an unfulfilled feeling for everybody and a VERY unfulfilled feeling for that one.

The advise on a good understanding between you from long, open conversations, should be taken advantage of. As well as it being very necessary, it can be a turn on itself. I’ve found that an agreed definition of your fantasy 3sum helps keep the green monster away and focuses on the exciting FUN part that that you both are after. “For me”, a 3some is just that. Three people enjoying sex simultaneously. One watching the other two or taking turns CAN be exciting but is not a 3sum. You BOTH doing her, or her doing BOTH of you, or….., or….., or….. is how you keep from *"I better not look like I’m enjoying this TOO much"*.

Finding that other person can be hard. It seems the best time have been somewhat spontaneous, at least for the first encounter with somebody. Your discussions can include a set of definite signals between you that you’ve both have found your prospective partner. It’s very hard when it’s very hard,:redghost: but I try to be careful NOT to coerce a situation anybody will have second thought about in the morning. LOL If EVERYBODY involved doesn’t really want to, it’s not what you wanted in the first place. And the black and white reality is always going to be a little different than the techno-color fantasy you started with.

The whole thing is kinda like tiptoeing through the minefield to the whorehouse. If you make it, it’s GREAT!

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Have done the FMF scene a few times and it can be GREAT! For the man anyway.

Did learn a lot about human dynamics though. Firstly was with my ex and her best friend. Spent a lot of nights in bed (in clover) but it inevitably led to jealousy from my ex. Imagine waking up and finding your husband enjoying himself quietly inside your best friend. Especially if you were not feeling like it and he didn't have anything left for you anyway. Also the male gets a bit confused about just whose bottom he is allowed to pat when all three are out shopping. Over all - not a great idea as it put a lot of strain on the relationship until the friend moved away.

With another ex had a delightfully spectacular evening with a little brown lady we rented while on holiday in Thailand. It really is fun watching your lady make another one come, and she enjoyed the experience as well. She went down on her with no hesitation and the two of them had so much fun that my contribution was a bit of an afterthought. After our assistant had left, ex and I spend the rest of the night making love like teenagers.

Haven't had the chance to repeat the event with my present lady, but if the chance comes up AND IF THE PARTNER JUST COMES, CUMS AND GOES, we will jump at the chance. I suggest you think the same way when picking the lucky third party.

I think if you find someone neither of you know it will be much easier...my man reallyyyyy wants a ffm 3sum poor me lol.I think it would be a huge turn on to well lets say have him watch ...me w/another chic ..and i have visions of how it will go...MmmMmm
Ive done the ffm many times but never with anyone i loved.It was always w/ buddys lol..

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CAPTIVATE MY ATTENTION, POSSESS MY BODY, INVADE MY MIND, ROCK MY WORLD AND, CALL ME "YOUR" BITCH... YOU KNOW MY HUNGER, YOU OWN MY DESIRE, YOU HAVE MY WILL, TAKE ME BABY... DIVINE PLEASURE

No it doesn't mean that one isn't enough. It means that one wishes to try new things, broaden horizons and to experience all avenues of pleasure.

If you do it set some boundaries. Make your feelings known. If he steps over the line you have your answer. If he can't listen to you then fuck him.

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Deep into that darkness peering,
long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams
no mortal ever dreamed before.

Cherry Hon you're right about most men dreaming of being with 2 women but in my opinion the answer to what it reflects about your relationship depends on attitude. If you two see it as sharing your relationship with someone and both make sure the 3rd party enjoys it, that would seem OK. If you're doing it to satisfy his fantasy... would he in return offer you the same thing? (MMF) It's the old goose and gander thing.... just my thoughts.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The only thing I have to add is if there is any doubt on either side do not try a threesome. You must be very very sure that is what you both want.

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Well, I am new here and just read this thread and had to reply. My exposure to this site came from a wonderful man in my life who has allowed me to really begin to explore my sexuality. Most of my desires have been inhibited in past relationships for a variety of reasons. And boy is it refreshing to explore and not be judged. Anyhow, the subject of a 3sum has come up with us as well. Not really sure if it was me that brought it up or him.*S* I too haved very mixed feelings on this. If I was not in love I don't think I would hesitate in the least. If I was unattached and the opportunity arrose, then I could certainly see myself going for it. But love puts a whole new twist on things. Your question of will you be enough for him, is one I too have asked myself. Another is will I be jealous of the other woman. The main problem that I face is is it worth the risk of screwing up the relationship? In my case it is definitely not. So we have opted for not now, not until we are sure that it is something our relationship can handle. Here's an idea he had that I think sounds like great fun. Go out together and look for the girl. Just fantasizing about the possibilities together could be really hot....and as my man quoted "sometimes the hunt is better than the catch" Good luck with your decision.

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Never say never, but if you do it's okay to change your mind~me, I think

I admit to having this fantasy in my twenties. I think that I can also admit that it was because I thought that I was such a love god that I could staisfy two women. Well why stop there three four five.

Tell him that you want to try sex with a woman on your own first to see if you like it.

The issue is so full of sex power politics. Tread carefully.

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Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.