Simpsons:

Lisa: Gross, how long has this box of baking soda been in here??

Marge: I don't know, came with the house.

Bart: Hey Homer, bet you five bucks you can't eat the whole thing.

Homer: 5 bucks, make it 50 bucks!!

Lisa: I will call poison control

__________________
I'm so romantic, I should marry myself.

"Hmm... must be the Hall of Giant Chattering Joke Teeth. Every themepark has one." -Bravo

"Hey, look at me. I'm a spoooooooky janitor." -Bravo

"Dental college? That would explain the lack of freakish carnie workers." -Bravo

"Don't touch me, kid. I got some seriously twisted mojo goin' on here." -Bravo

"Johnny, women like sincerity. Once you can fake that, you'll have it made." -Schoolhouse Rock guy

Bravo: "What am I supposta do with this?"

Surfer: "Ya gotta jazz the glass, daddy-o."

Bravo: "Nuh-uh, man. That sounds nasty."

Patrick: "Hey, Spongebob."

Spongebob: "That's hall-monitor to you."

Patrick: "Sorry, officer."

Spongebob: "Now you just need a symbol of authority."

*Patrick puts an ice cream cone on his head, then points to it*

Spongebob: "Perfect."

"A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool, like a butcher's knife, a harpoon, or a, uhh... uhh... alligator." -Homer

Homer: "Joke's on you, buddy. There's no bullets in that gun."

Snake: "Gimme the bullets."

Homer: "Okay! Just please don't shoot me."

Plankton: "I don't understand. I feel all tingly inside. Should we stop?"

Spongebob: "No, that's how you're supposta feel!"

Plankton: "Then let's do it again!"

Patrick: "You're a turkey!"

Spongebob: "What's that?"

Patrick: "It's what you are!"

Spongebob: "Yeah? Well, you're a bigger one!"

Bob Oblong: "Sweetie, a wasp's nest isn't really a proper pinata."

Mom Oblong: "Honey, I'm entertaining on a budget here."

Kid with the stick: "Owww!! The candy's stinging me!!"

"Now clear outta here. This jungle of peenies is making me uncomfortable." -Bob Oblong