Wow. That's unreal.


On a lighter note, I had a customer last night tell me the '9' key on his phone didn't work and he wondered if I could help him.

Let's see, that would have been when I was working with a wildlife educational program. We had a booth at a public fair or some such, and in the booth we had several previously-injured, but unreleasable, birds of prey on display.

One of the patrons at the fair walked up to the booth, stared very intently at the screech owl. Then she turned to us and asked "Does that owl have, like, *feathers*?"

I had to run behind the scenes to avoid laughing in her face.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

You have fallen on the ice.. and in obvious pain.....you can't move, much less get up from the ice cold ground.


"Are you hurt?" "What happened?" "Do you need help?"

Duh!!!

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

" Honey I'll pull it out, no way you can get pregnant!"

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Were you told this by someone...and is there something I need to know about you?

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

A battered woman saying, "But I love him...."

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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

After a few pints - " I'm ok to drive" pleased to say he had his keys taken from him.

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What is life?
If not an excuse for death,
and what is death,
if not an escape from life?

No Osuche Hon, this little gem came from friends years back when I was in high school. Some of the guys believed in the Delta system of birth control. Ya know Delta always pulls out on time. When I heard that line I always thought, Yeah right.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

a friend of mine once said in dead earnest in the heat of a South Carolina summer..."gezzz it's too hot to drink beer" she has never lived that comment down.

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Sex is a tricky thing best left to professionals.

Heared on a cruseliner by a friend of mine
" So what time is the captins midnight cocktail party"

"How do I get to yahoo?"

-My Mom

"Most girls can tell he size a guy's penis, but genrally they are wrong"

-Me

"It's OK, Cunning Linguist, I am sure you will find a nice job and have a wonderful girl who loves you in every way and is wild in the sack."

-Everybody

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.

1. You'd be awfully cute if you'd lose some weight.

2. You've got a great personality..........for a fat girl.

3. You're so cute when you're mad.













GGGGgggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin
*******************
My Stories:
Dream Date
Just Desserts
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 1
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 2
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 3
RAVISHED!!
My Birthday - A Fantasy

"Hi Steph. I'm glad to meet you".





... and I said it.

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"Hi PF. Nice to meet you, too."


Regrets, I've had a few.

A High school friend asked me once "Why do you girls need toilet paper?" I was speechless ....

This is also the same guy that another friend and I convinced that the brass balls saloon was like hooters .... except w/all the waiters' balls hanging out of their pants and painted brass colored.

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To know that you do not know is the best.
To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
Lao-tzu


I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sir Winston Churchill

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche