By the time I finished reading this, I could hear Ahnold in my head!!!


Kalifornia English

The new California governor has just announced an agreement whereby
English
will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which
was
also considered.

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" (or, if nobody
will
be offended, "Euronics").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make
English easier for sivil servants, many of whom don't seem to speak it.
The
hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter, saving Kalifornia
taxpayers millions and redusing the defisit.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like
'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of
the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil
be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech
oza.

Ze drem of a universal langvich for Kalifornia vil finali kum tru.

(If zis mad yu smil, pas it on to oza pepl. Dat's an order.....I'l be
bak!)

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)