Kalifornia English from the Governator!
 

By the time I finished reading this, I could hear Ahnold in my head!!!


Kalifornia English

The new California governor has just announced an agreement whereby
English
will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which
was
also considered.

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" (or, if nobody
will
be offended, "Euronics").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make
English easier for sivil servants, many of whom don't seem to speak it.
The
hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter, saving Kalifornia
taxpayers millions and redusing the defisit.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like
'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of
the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil
be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech
oza.

Ze drem of a universal langvich for Kalifornia vil finali kum tru.

(If zis mad yu smil, pas it on to oza pepl. Dat's an order.....I'l be
bak!)

oh wow, Arnold is in my head now too!

Irish,

Ahhh... something else to look forward to!

ROTFLMAO! Thanks Irish, that is awesome!

Finally! Someone making sense with the English language. It's brutal trying to explain spelling rules to my kids! They spell phonetically and I'm constantly saying "well, that's a funny word because of the..."!

WI~ "outlaws" that is what I tell my kids the words are that don't fit the rules...outlaw words

My wife,e-mailed that to me from her work(Liberty Mutual)We are
always kidding around about the way he pronounces things,so I
thought that you guys,might get a kick out of it! Irish

Very funny Irish.....I'll be back........later!

He's only been governor here a little over a month....and already that all made perfect sense to me. Oh, boy !!!

:D

Ja, vot is der problem?

Das es gut!

Lillth,

Do your kids ever realize that efer word is an outlaw word?

Just wait until they are older and see words like ennui, penial, and Celtic and says ee-new-eye, pee-nee-al, and Selt-ic. I swear I mispronounce words worse than the president, but the bright side is that well I can tourture my friend who is obessed with Lord of the Rings and speaks Elvish by reading Lord of the Rings outloud.