I have heard so much info on both side of the whole desensitizing thing that I do not know what to believe. I do know that my wife and use a bullet vibe on her clit most of the time during sex. She does not have to have it for her to climax, but it does give her a much stronger more intense longer lasting orgasm.
I think you lady is like the other 80 some odd percent of women in this world that can not climax from vaginal penetration alone. In the case of my wife she usually needs multiple parts of her body stimulated for her to achieve climax. It does not really matter if it’s sucking on her nipples, rimming her anus, anal penetration with a finger or a vibe. Even kissing and sucking on her neck combined with a little sexy/dirty talk will drive her over the edge. A couple of times I have tried light caresses all over her body during a love making session, it works but it really takes a long, long time(great for her but I got kind of bored). Most any form off stimulation when combined with vaginal penetration is enough for her to orgasm. The secret is for you to keep her mind busy with sensory overload. Don’t let her focus on just one thing, the more areas you can make tingle and feel pleasurable the greater the whole experience will be for her and thus for you as well.

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Mind what poeple do not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie.
Terry Goodkind, Wizzards Fifth Rule

There are two things a real man likes--danger and play;and he likes woman because she is the most dangerous of playthings.
Nietzsche


Monogamy does not have to mean Monotony