LotR humour
 

•What do you call an absent-minded Dúnadain?


Answer :A Space Ranger! :D

•How would you ask a Ringwraith for a date?

Answer: "What's a Nazgul doing in a place like this?"

•What do you say if you bump into a wizard?

Answer: Saruman, I didn't see ya there!!!

•What did Pippin say as he was carried off by the Uruk-Hai?

Answer: Ouch! You're carrying me in an orcward position!

•How do Orc’s greet each other?

Answer: With an Uruk Hai five.

•Who is Frodos favourite musician?

Answer: Sting

•What did Pippin do when he got drunk?

Answer: He began to feel Merry :D

•What did Gimli say when Rosie tugged his beard?

Answer: Lego-las!

•Why did the one-armed Balrog cross the Road?

Answer: To get to the Firearm shop!!

•What did Legolas see when he looked into Galadriel's mirror?

Answer: A Bloomin' fine looking Elf. :D

what would you call a collections of orc's who play various musical instruments? :D

Sharni & Grumble,

These are GREAT! I love them. Thank you!

got it :D

Sharni,

When you get the time please post them. I've not heard any of these.

•What would be Ned Flanders name in Middle Earth?

Answer: Tom Bom-didli-om-bom

•Why did Elrond disapprove of Arwen getting married?

Answer: He didn't want any more rings in the family.

•What would legolas be called if he lost a leg in battle?

Answer: Lasoleg (say it: less-a-leg)

•What did Merry say to Gandalf after Pippin stole the Palantir?

Answer: Perigrin Took it!!

•What is Aragorn's favorite snack?

Answer: Orc rinds!

•How would one phone Sauron?

Answer: Dial "M" for Mordor!

•Why can't Saruman read his wristwatch?

Answer: Because his arm has grown long

•What does a wild dwarf wear?

Answer: A Gloin cloth!

•Why is Sauron called the Lord of the Rings?

Answer: Because he never answers the telephone

•What do a lemon and Curunir have in common?

Answer: They are both sour....man

•Why did the Balrog cross the Bridge?

Answer: He didnt!

•Why did Gandalf cross the Bridge?

Answer He didnt!!

•What is the Witch King's favorite fruit?

Answer: The Grapes of Wraith

•Why didn't Tom Bombadil answer the phone?

Answer: Because the ring had no effect on him.

•What is Sauron's favourite food?

Answer: Eye-scream!!

•What do you call a elf with no legs?

Answer: Leg-o-less

•What do you call a elf with out any toys

Answer: Leggo-less

•What did Melkor said to Sauron when he was taken into captivity by the Valar?

Answer: "Keep an eye on Middle-earth!"

•What's the gooey stuff between a balrog's toes?

Answer: Slow orcs

•Why are hobbit doors round?

Answer: If you ate 9 meals a day you'd want round doors too!

•How many Tolkien purists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer: None -- the lightbulb was not in the book!

•How many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: Well, it takes twenty because:

Three to find a ladder that reaches up to the sky
Seven to find a lightbulb in the dark halls of stone
Nine to steady the ladder so the one on top doesn't die
One to install the lightbulb, on the ladder, all alone
In a land called The Shire, where very few shadows lie.

:D:D:D:D:D

•How do you know an Elf is calling you?

Answer: Three rings

•How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?

Answer: He tried to destroy the ring

•Why did the Balrog cross the bridge?

Answer: To get to the other- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!