|
I have a little test to see if you are REALLY oversexed.
Since these days, most men would say they are oversexed,
if you asked them; it's probably "normal" to be
oversexed, if that's possible so to be REALLY oversexed,
you would have to be a sex-maniac.
Now that's not all bad, you see.
If being a little oversexed is good and normal, can being
a sex-maniac be all that bad.
So, I'm starting what I hope will be an extensive thread.
It's a test, to see if you might be a sex-maniac, just like
Jeff Foxworthy's test for qualification as a redneck. Feel
free to add tests of your own.
You MIGHT be a sex-maniac if. . .
Your porn-library is bigger than your stack of taped shows.
Your prick (or cunt) and your right hand have matching callouses.
Your mother, your aunt, your two sisters, and your dog are
all pregnant, and none of them has a current boyfriend.
You think your wife is frigid, because she tells you that,
"Five times a day is too much."
You learned to masturbate before you learned to talk.
You're number-3 on Planned Parenthood's list of horror-stories.
You're a farmer with cows, chickens, and nanny-goats, but
no bulls, jacks, or cockerels. You don't need them.
Your little sister has had three children, but is too young
to date yet.
Your mother complains that your father is losing his sex-drive,
and you have to agree. . . He only managed to fuck you three
times last night, so you had to get your little brother
to help.
All the other girls are disappointed, when you show up for
the orgy.
Your boyfriend asks his brother, father and uncle to help
out, because he just can't keep up. . . And you wonder if
maybe he should invite his grandfather too, as only four
men might not be enough.
You're wondering if maybe you should get a boyfriend, because
your father and three brothers just aren't enough any more.
Your sister keeps complaining that you steal all her boyfriends,
and you wonder what's bothering her about that.
You know more about sex than either of your parents; and
you're only 9.
Your condom bill is bigger than your phone bill.
You carry 14 different types of prophylactics, and use them
all.
Your wife, your mortgage-payment, your mistress, and your
two daughters are all late.
You have three boyfriends, and are contemplating getting
a fourth.
You can't understand how some girls can get by with just
one boyfriend or husband.
You have more than 14 children.
You read "Don Juan," and wonder why he's so undersexed.
Your girlfriend takes you to a swinging-party, so that she
can get a rest.
You read stories in the (yellow) newspapers about a man
whose wife is divorcing him because he has sex five times
a day, and you think, "That's all?"
All the women light up, and all the men are disappointed,
when you show up at a swinging-party with the sexiest girl
in town.
You can quote the entire dialog of "Taboo II."
You like to drink cum, but think it's a waste.
Your idea of getting "dressed up" does not involve
more than 8 ounces of clothing.
You go to an orgy to pick up women.
You go to an orgy to pick up men.
You're a 25-year-old woman, and haven't had a period in
10 years.
Your little brother groans, and asks, "Why don't you
sleep with Daddy tonight?"
Your husband takes you to a swinging party, and tells you
he'll pick you up, after it's over.
You think the person who wrote "Cheaper by the Dozen"
was a piker.
You're on a first-name basis with the people down at the
health clinic.
The local hooker walks out, when she sees you enter the
bar.
You're being named in more than three paternity suits at
once.
You're being named in two or more paternity suits, and at
least two of them are relatives.
Your daughter has three children, but isn't old enough to
go out on a date.
You go to the pound to pick out a dog, and take the one
that starts humping your leg.
Your stack of real porno-mags, is higher than your stack
of Playboy magazines.
Your little sister is afraid to invite you to spend the
night at her house, because she doesn't want your daughter
to get pregnant.
|
Erotic
Stories