MY BAD DAY

When you have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone, don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know...

Now get this. I was sitting in my Van, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is TJ and could I please speak to Robin Carter? Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. Well, I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my dash. I decided to, call it again. When the same person again answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it in my Visor. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real set back for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and when I heard his voice, "Hello?" I made up a name."Hi. I'm with the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you'd be interested in our caller ID program?" "No!" he shouted and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!

"Keep reading this, it gets better!........

An old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great", I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if I didn't even exist. I thought to myself, this guy's another asshole, there sure are a lot of assholes in this world.

Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone number. Then I hunted for another place to park. A couple of days later, I'm sitting in my van. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an asshole!"

(It's really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.)

I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" "Sure..." "Don, you're an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down.

Then, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with this solution:

First, I had my phone speed dial asshole #1. A man answered nicely,"Hello?" I yelled "You're an asshole!", but I didn't hang up. The asshole said, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah."He said, "Stop calling me."I said, "Make me."He said, "What's your name, pal? "So I told him, "Don Hansen."He said, "Where do you live?" "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked outfront." "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers." "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole!", and I hung up.

Then I called asshole #2. Don Hansen answered, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole." He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" "I'll kick your ass." "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, asshole." And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street...

After that I climbed into my van and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life! Well,

Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day !!!

Damn >^,^<

Ghostcat....I've got tears running down my face from laughing so hard!!
I really needed this!! You have no idea just how badly I needed a good laugh. Thank you so much!!!

I don't know if it's a true story that happened to you of it's one of those occaisionaly good things that floats around the internet, but regardless..it sure made my day!!

Thanks again for posting it!!! Oh god, my ribs are hurting from laughing soooo hard!!!

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin
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My Stories:
Dream Date
Just Desserts
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 1
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 2
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 3
RAVISHED!!
My Birthday - A Fantasy

GhostCat.

Loved it. I love truly evil people.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Ghostcat, that was hysterical! We are all cheering for you for getting revenge! I've got a bunch of people in mind for you to get ... do you take requests?

Ghostcat.. that was funny Thanks for the laugh..

That was too funny

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Would you cater to every fantasy I've got? Would you hose me down with holy water if I get to hot? Can you take me places I've never known?

Sucks, Fucks & Kisses

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OMG, that is one of the best stories I´ve ever heard! I was almost falling off my chair, and I am crying for laughing so much!

!!!ROTFLMAO!!!

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

Right on,Ghostcat!Never let it be said that revenge isn't sweet,cuz it is and damned funny too.

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The name says it all!

OMG- LMFAO
That's great GhostCat. A real classic. I think I'll gain comfort from just knowing this story the next time an asshole crosses my path.

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ROFL - great story!!! j

Too funny! Is it true? LOLOL

ROTFLMAO!

Ghost Cat, you obviously truly understand the meaning of;
"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

One question tho?
What you gonna do for an encore?

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"Quando Flunkus Moritatii" (I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.) - the Red Green Show



The best thing about taking a vacation, is all the heartfelt huggs received upon your return. - Murphy

"The more you love, the more you CAN love. There's no limit to how much you can love - or how many" Lazarus Long in "Time Enough for Love" - Robert A. Heinlein

I was working on my motorcycle one day, on my patio I was tuning the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. still holding onto the handlebars, I was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The neighbour, hearing the crash, ran into the back yard and found me lying on the floor, cut up and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to me, and the shattered patio door. The neighbour ran to the phone and called the ambulance. Because I lived on a fairly large hill, the neighbour went down the several flights of stairs to the street to help the paramedics to me. After the ambulance arrived and transported me to the hospital, the neighbour uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it out side. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, they got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. I was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, I looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to my motorcycle. I became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and had smoked. After finishing the cigarette, I flipped it between my legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The neighbour herd the loud explosion and me screaming. They ran over again and found me in the bathroom lying on the floor. My pants had been blown away and I was suffering burns on the ass, the back of my legs, and my groin. The neighbour once again ran to the phone to called the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the neighbour met them at the street again. The paramedics loaded me onto the stretcher and began carrying me to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by neighbour, one of the paramedics asked how I had burned myself. The neighbour told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping me out. I fell down the remaining stairs and broke my arm.

STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? >^,^<

Just remember, it could be worse.....

Just when you thought it was safe, huh?

Thanks for the motivation, GhostCat. Makes me feel better about having to do the spongebaths at the retirement home....

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I wouldn't say that I'm always horny... it may be true, mind you, I just wouldn't say it!