
11-04-2009, 09:02 PM
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Mod with Bite
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Vegemite....nuff said!!
Posts: 13,502
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Stressed to the max!
Sorry i've not been on very much at all, even less than i was before *sigh*
My youngest son is going to put me in an early grave, the last few weeks i have been living each day stressed, severely pissed, worried, bawling my eyes out, angry, sad, sobbing and many others inbetween and well i feel like i'm living in an emotional wringer! Though this has been going on for longer, but it has got worse lately....
I'm about at my limit today, i feel like a powder keg with a match a few millimeters away.
I do not know what else to do with this kid of mine, i love him with all my heart but at this time i really dont like him very much, if that makes sense.
The open disregard and defiance he is dishing out.....shit i dunno...i cant even put it into words...
Sorry guys, i needed to vent, hasnt helped a great deal, but even a bit is better than nothing. My mind is in turmoil.....i needed a shoulder is all
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11-04-2009, 09:13 PM
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Yankee in Dixie
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,217
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If you can't vent here, I don't know where else you could go. Vent away. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I'm not a parent and haven't dealt with the teen thing before. (Other than my being a teen not so long ago.)
Mom's, Dad's....Any advice for our vampire obsessed friend?
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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf
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11-04-2009, 10:08 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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Teenagers are total assholes so we won't miss them as bad when they finally leave.
One day he will be grown. One day he will be grown. One day he will be grown. One day he will be grown. One day he will be grown. One day he will be grown. - Just keep saying it til it's true ((((hugs)))) Every time I try to hold mine accountable I'm told what a shitty life I've given him. Ungrateful beasts.
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11-04-2009, 10:12 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
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Fangtasia,
Although I have lived through the antagonistic antics of two teenagers, it sounds as if you’re catching it worse than I ever did. It seems as if he is to the point where you may want to consider getting outside help, before he gets himself in serious trouble.
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11-04-2009, 10:49 PM
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Mod with Bite
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Vegemite....nuff said!!
Posts: 13,502
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Thanx guys *hugz*
I've tried outside help, i've tried just about everything i can think of. He just doesnt give a shit for anyone but himself. The police were involved the other day, they cant help either until he does something criminal, ffs i DONT want him to get to that, but sadly that is were it is heading.
Can't belt his arse, cause god forbid the do gooders would have me in court. From the police, if he chooses to leave home (at 14 mind you, fucking 14!!), there is nothing we can do.
When he turns into real trouble, those same do gooders will be the ones that will blame the parenting, yeah great.
My son is breaking my heart, and i have sat and talked with him about this shit, and he couldnt care less, its killing me
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11-04-2009, 10:49 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
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Is there another reason why this is hitting you so hard?
This sounds like Mrs OF at peri-menopause, when your body is practicing to be a pain.
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11-04-2009, 10:52 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
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Is he seeing a counselor? If I remember right he has some challenges that make the teen years even more treacherous. Is he on meds? You can PM me if you don't want to spew it all here 
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11-04-2009, 11:01 PM
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Mod with Bite
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Vegemite....nuff said!!
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OF ~ hun i have been on the lips of menopause for about 10yrs, i don't think thats making it harder. It's more i'm scared i'm going to lose him
Lil ~ He was seeing someone at the mental health unit here, but he has finished, though i will be ringing them again tomorrow to see if they can steer me in the right direction. My eldest has Aspergers hun. My youngest was never diagnosed, though the school fully believed he was, and i had my ball headed to the Aspergers court with him too, and that IMHO is what the problem is, School is a MAJOR problem for him. He does have O.D.D (oppositional defiance disorder) and boy does that seem to be in full swing. He is prescribed meds hun, for ADHD, but he flatly refuses to take them, and well, i cant force them down his throat in reality.
I dont mind dropping it on here hun, Pixies is like family for me, even though i havent been able to get here as much as i would like.
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11-05-2009, 03:29 AM
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Mod with Bite
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Vegemite....nuff said!!
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Update: Another day of school refusal, and not coming home. Finally he comes into a very upset (teary) Mum.
So we wait while i recover, get past the few lies i fully expected him to try to feed me, and sat and talked, and i mean really talked. So i think i got a better handle on the few issues that are the main prob, so i'll be tackling them tomorrow or next week if possible. So school appointments to be made (both at current and possible new), find a private councilor for him to talk, doctor's appointment (i'm pretty sure he's got a bit of depression happening), & mental health unit to see where else i can go (tho he doesnt want to go back here, doesnt like the bloke apparently...fair enough).
Fingers crossed i can get this kid some help and peace back into this household...
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11-05-2009, 05:20 AM
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~a little bit naughty~
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 23,422
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Fangtasia, while I'm not having the same issue you are having, I am dealing with a 17 year old daughter, just diagnosed with panic disorder, and I'm trying like hell for her not to drop out of her senior year. We have had big issues with her since she was 14. I knew it would be hard to get through the teenage years, but DAMN!!! Big hugs to you and I hope things get better.
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11-05-2009, 06:06 AM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
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Fang,
Here in my area a child like yours would qualify for special school services. We have classrooms and whole schools that are dealing with students who have ODD, unmedicated ADHD, Depressions and a host of other issues. That is what I have done for the past 4 years but on the elementary level. When I feel my students can not be successful in a typical school setting I have the option of placing them at a special day school where the ratios are much lower, there is a much more therapeutic approach to their day and they still go home at night- escorted. Do you have schools in your area specifically for students with Emotional and Behavioral Disabilities?
I'm glad you guys talked. Once they talk it helps, even if just for a little while.((hugs)) You are the strongest person I know. Your child is so lucky to have gotten you for a mom. A lot of other moms would not have done as well as you have for him.
TT,
Is she on an anti-anxiety med? My son struggled and we saw a counselor for a while. He explained the whole "fight or flight" concept to my son and it really helped him to understand what was happening in his body. He decided to try karate, which affords an energy release, builds confidence, gives him routines to practice when he's stressed. It emcompassed all the things he was "inventing" to do when he was freaked out but channeled them. Does she have an outlet?
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11-05-2009, 10:43 AM
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Goddess Of the night
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,327
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HI Tess
I too have a panic disorder that came about from being the one in control the entire time. When my dad passed number of years ago and i was the one that went every day and etc other issues going on. My body broke down. I have been on Lexapro for the depression side and Buspar for the anxiety. I have not had a full blown attack in quite a while.
It does get easier in time and i am sorry you are going through this. Its harder on the person going through it believe me as many people aren't understanding about it all. My EX wasn't at the time. Could be why he is an EX now. My mate now is very understanding as he has seen a full attack happened and understands so much better
If you need anything please feel free to PM me.
Rhiannon
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I love the night
I love the element of danger and the ecstasy of flight,
I love the night
I love to dance with a stranger and to feel his delight,
And when the dancing is through, I kick off my shoes,
And I listen to the beating of his heart
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11-05-2009, 07:10 PM
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Manwhore
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 15,495
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilith
Fang,
I'm glad you guys talked. Once they talk it helps, even if just for a little while.((hugs)) You are the strongest person I know. Your child is so lucky to have gotten you for a mom. A lot of other moms would not have done as well as you have for him.
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I agree with this sentiment completely.
(((((((Fang)))))))
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In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these
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11-05-2009, 10:28 PM
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Turn it up!
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Music City
Posts: 9,293
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fangtasia
I do not know what else to do with this kid of mine, i love him with all my heart but at this time i really dont like him very much, if that makes sense.
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That actually makes all kinds of sense. Been dealing with #1, with ADHD, AS, petit mal epilepsy, & whatever else they can pull out of the book, & he's 26 now; still not worth the powder it would take to blow him away (I know, that sounds awful coming from a dad), the only consolation mrs zoid & I take away is that he's not quite as F'd up as his live-in GF (he at least has some self-awareness, if not the ability to self-improve).
Continue to vent, & share as much as you can stand right here. If we can't help, at least we're pretty much all sympathetic ears...
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11-06-2009, 12:34 PM
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~a little bit naughty~
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 23,422
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Lil and Rhiannon, thank you both for your concern. My daughter has just started taking Lexapro daily and Ativan as needed. She is starting thearpy where they have a 12-step program to help kids deal with panic disorder. It's been a shock to see this emerge in her, but we are hopeful that we can get a grip on it and she can get the help she needs to get on with her life.
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