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  #1  
Old 01-13-2008, 09:33 PM
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scotzoidman scotzoidman is offline
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The Zen of Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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  #2  
Old 01-13-2008, 10:29 PM
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Wise words, String Plucker.
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"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

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  #3  
Old 01-14-2008, 04:18 PM
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One day the grasshopper, one day the pebble. So!
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Old 01-15-2008, 04:26 AM
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I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius





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  #5  
Old 01-15-2008, 08:40 AM
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To do is to be. Socrates

To be is to do. Sartre

Oo be doo be doo Sinatra.
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  #6  
Old 01-15-2008, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldfart
To do is to be. Socrates

To be is to do. Sartre

Oo be doo be doo Sinatra.



obla de obla da The Beatles
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  #7  
Old 01-15-2008, 04:01 PM
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Is So, BIBI.
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