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				03-03-2006, 12:44 PM
			
			
			
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			|  | Turn it up! |  | 
					Join Date: May 2001 Location: Music City 
						Posts: 9,293
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				New Living Will Form
			 
 New Living Will Form
 I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
 
 Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
 
 If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
 
 ______a Bloody Mary
 
 ______a Margarita
 
 ______a Scotch and soda
 
 ______a Martini
 
 ______a Vodka and Tonic
 
 ______a Steak
 
 ______Lobster or crab legs
 
 ______The remote control
 
 ______a Bowl of ice cream
 
 ______The sports page
 
 ______Chocolate
 
 ______Sex
 
 it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
 
 When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct the appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.  At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
 
 Name:           _____________________________
 
 
 Signature:         ___________________________
 
 
 Date:               ___________________________
 
 
 I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub.  The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors.  (Sounds like my kind of Nursing Home.)
 
				__________________Plug me into somethin'
 
 If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.
 
 No good deed ever goes unpunished
 
 Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.
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