Let me see if I can explain this situation correctly...My g/f isn't too interested in sex right now. Its a once and a while thing but things have to be just right for her to be interested. I don't have a problem with that because of the circumstances. She was molested by her stepdad and she has some confidence issues also. In the beginning she wanted sex a lot and since we've been together she got a birth control shot (depoparva) or something like that. We did some research on that brand and it has some pretty bad side effects apparently with lack of sex drive being one of them. So anyway, she doesn't have a sex drive anymore but before she lost it we talked about going to a sex toy store but now I don't want to bring it up (I know communication communication communication) but what my questions is do you all think (as women) that she is going to make my life a living hell if I ordered her a fairly plain viberator? I'm thinking that maybe that might help her (and don't think I'm just trying to get her to like sex again so I can have sex) Just curious what some of ya'lls thoughts are. Thanks

This is a tough one . . . has she had counselling for the molestation?

Is she going to continue on the Depo? I only took it once & didn't like the side effects.

I guess you could buy her a small dildo for Valentine's Day but I'd suggest buying other things, too, so the vibe/dildo/whatever you choose isn't the main focus.

Thanks for the reply Steph. Yeah she just took the shot once thankfully. She still suffers from the side effects several months later. Depression, lost sex drive and is almost on a constant period (we did talk to a doctor) but things are starting to get back to normal.

I wasn't really sure when I was going to buy her one. We're planning a weekend away for valentines day but actually what I was thinking is that when I'm away on business she would get it in the mail. That way she could have her own reactions without me there and she could get over the embarassing part.

Oh and no she hasn't had any counseling I don't believe. She was taken away by the state 10 years ago and I guess maybe they might have but other than that no. She has agreed to see somebody now though and thats the next step.

I'd be focussing on helping her get into the right mind frame before buying her the vibrator. Help her through the counselling (it's going to be tougher than you realise on both of you) and get over that hurdle first before you start climbing the mountain of your present sex life issues. One thing at a time is the best way.

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Gotta agree with the previoyus advice. Couseling first and then toys or whatever. But please, talk to her about the issues with NO pressure. You have to focus on her first. Best of luck.

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out my name
As I stare from a six foot cell
And from beyond I heard the words
Deceptively Yours

actually the moestation isn't as much the problem. Its the birth control shot that has her sex drive out of wack. We had a great sex life until that stupid shot. My question was more in the line of..."if a womans sex drive is out of wack, then is she gonna throw me out of the house if I buy her a sex toy?". We joked around about them a little yesterday so I think it will be ok even if she doesn't want it.