The Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here then, are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And
now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
he man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and
gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
man, frustrated, walked away.

******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.

I liked those

__________________
"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."


Live Life, hearses don't come with luggage racks.
The second mouse always gets the cheese

OMG they are funny

I can't believe the guy lost a finger, too! OK, yes I can.

Mr. Lil said he read that it's Darwin's Bday and said he thought he read that only 30-40 percent of Americans believe in Darwinism. Keep in mind Mr. Lil is often wrong about what he reads

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<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
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I know a guy like that! He'll read the same paper I do and he then combines three or four stories into one for an astounding comedy of errors.

OMG! There's a sucker born every time gas prices rise! ROFLMFAO!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

OMG TOO funny Lixy!! ROFLMAO




I liked No. 4 the best. Good thing it wasn't a Washington driver or we may have NEVER found a busload of comgressmen. lmao

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Hm, odd, I didn't get this notice in my e-mail, and I'm supopsed to have a subscription to their mailing list. Ah, well, thanks BIBI, this is stuff I wanted to know.

__________________
On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

BIBI,

Yes, those are funny. Thank you.

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Eudaimonia