
10-02-2005, 03:01 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 559
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This whole goodbye business
So...fill me in on this. When some people leave the board, they quietly move on. But others post a message either a positive, "so long and thanks for the Fish" message or a slightly more ill-spiritied "thank God I'm leaving" type of message or the "I don't belong anymore" type.
What is it that makes people post a good bye message? Or for that matter, what makes people feel that are "leaving". From what I can tell, most of the relationships are virtual anyway - not that people aren't good folks and good internet friends, but I'm lacking the passion either way.
The ones that catch my eye the most are the more negative ones. Why or how do people feel that strongly? Just wondering.
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10-02-2005, 03:20 PM
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Slut Lolver
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado USA
Posts: 587
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Life changes, someone that may say goodbye today may care less tomrrow if the do or not.
I think the kind of message they leave depends if someone just pissed them off.
:jump:
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10-02-2005, 03:31 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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Well you'd think if someone felt strongly, they'd try to work things out but often that is not the case. Although often the noisy ones are the ones who just go invisible til the next chance to stir up shit.
I've seen people leave in a bunch of different ways, some more explosive than others. Often they are upset with someone or with me, regarding a decision I've made. Some people make a big scene in order to attract attention. Some people simply have to give in to the demands of their lives and slip off quietly.
While I hate to lose touch with anyone, I can understand why people feel the need at times. I feel those same things at times. There are decisions made that I don't like and there are times when people hurt my feelings but as part of a community I understand that this whole place is bigger than me and my issues.
When people say they are "leaving", they mean not coming to the site, although I have found this to be patently untrue for the most part. Most "leavings" are symbolic. The people posting them want someone to know they are upset. Some have left to prove themselves to someone they care about.
I think many of us that have stuck around for a long time see these "leavings" as a need people have to take a break and regather their wits. Often the people are back soon enough and seem to have a better understanding that a community is made up of the sum of it's parts, not any one person makes a community whole. Our community is richer for the variety of people who come here. And in general we always welcome them back with open arms.
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10-02-2005, 04:22 PM
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Awesome on my Own
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Schoolhouse Rocks!
Posts: 4,366
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilith
...And in general we always welcome them back with open arms.
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YES!!!
I agree with Lil!
I look at it like this... When I check into the pixies site, it is like i am really walking into someone's BIG house, and when a large group of ppl get together, there will be a few who don't get along. That is natural. As i am not one for conflict, i may leave that room (or thread) and go onto what makes me happy. I have respect for our moderators (wipes the brown off my nose lol) but i wouldn't like to be one. They have a tough job at times, and must make tough choices, to keep the general masses safe and happy.
Sometimes there are misunderstandings, as true human emotion cannot always be put into written text, and other's may read what is on their screen as entirely different than what the original author intended. Smilies help, but are not always are the solution either. I have seen a few threads where intentions were misconstrued and feelings were hurt and then there was retaliation. That, i find very sad.
I Love Pixies, and unless i can't get to the internet, I intend to stay for a very very very looooooooong time.   
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10-02-2005, 04:45 PM
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Learning to talk sexy
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 3,264
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LOL .... I think just like in the real world, there are all kinds of different personalities that show through in this cyber home. Sometimes it's about getting a bit of attention, sometimes it's about causing a bit of a stir in the forums, and sometimes it may simply be that the person has been a very active participant and feels it's eaiser to say goodbye in one message rather than 100 or so PMs .... Even when it is a really negative message that someone leaves ... I try to wish them well in finding what they seek in their life and hope that I truly feel it as I type the expression. Even if I haven't quite gotten to that point .... the old expression of "smile, it'll drive 'em crazy" gives me a sense of satisfaction! 
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10-02-2005, 04:57 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
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There are some, but not many, who are leaving for good reasons and just want to say thanks for the great company.
Others are on a mission and need to advertise their displeasure, as though one vented spleen will change our world.
Some are really just saying "Thanks for the Fish".
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
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10-02-2005, 05:46 PM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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I was just looking for the bathroom.
Just kidding, Lil. :grin:
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10-03-2005, 09:18 AM
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is not this trim anymore!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 21,709
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dicksbro
I was just looking for the bathroom.
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/me welcomes you back with open arms. :hug:
Just as there are numerous reasons people have for leaving, there's numerous ways they do it. I mark it up to the fact that different things make us tick, and get ticked.
__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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10-03-2005, 09:30 AM
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Larger Than Life
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: i come from a land downunder
Posts: 597
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lilith, excellent responce you would do good as a politician down here
lizardbits, fzzy and OF those words were well said
Dicksbro...its down the hall and to the left, and dont trip on the mat
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10-03-2005, 04:25 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Seattle
Posts: 8,189
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Pixies is an extended family of sorts for me - so I look at the folks I've met here as family members. I don't get along with my immediate family and they understand that I am whacked in the head most of the time. People come and go but we who are left behind just need to understand that we were there for them no matter how long they stayed for the visit. If they choose to be mean and spiteful as they depart our company, then they will have to live with those feelings. Life is all about choices and our stay here is merely an extension of who we are in some ways.
By the way - someone leave the light on for DB......his eyesight might be getting bad now that he is retired. 
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