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John Doe strode into the bedroom, wearing His leather Postal Worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed, as He reached into His latex mail bag. Jane Doe, a 29-year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as He brought a knife with a 9-inch dildo out of the bag.

"I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly, "Are you willing?"

Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather."

John smiled as He bent close and cut her free of her bonds.

"Strip," He ordered as He began to remove His own clothes..

Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her.

"Lie back on the bed," He commanded.

Jane did so. John then lay Himself on top of her.

"Tonight my dear," He whispered while reaching for the light switch, “we are going........... Vanilla!"

"NOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!!!" cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.

The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman, with whom he now has a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle: they regularly enjoy home improvements, Tupperware parties and only have sex 3 times a year.

Jane was more fortunate. She currently attends Vanillas Anonymous and, with help and guidance, she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say,

"I have the right to more than one sexual position!"

Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex—

*** JUST SAY 'NO'! ***


This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled kink.













Have a nice day

__________________
Shushhhhhhhhhhhhhh......Be werrrry werrry quiet.
I am hunting wabbits.....


Story posts
First Crossing
A Secret Untold
Aimee: The Transition
Don't know where to Start

LMAO. Vanilla can be good. But so can chocolate or strawberry.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

i like twisty cone every now and again, too

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I'm certainly not going to disparage BDSM play.

But vanilla is a spice, too.

__________________
On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Make mine fudge ripple please!

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

This is the funnest dayum thing !!!! :jump:


I put in a cute little reference to the difference between vanilla and BDSM lifestlyes and it turns into a thread for Ice Cream!!!!!!!!


LMAO!!!!

You folks are a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!


Robert

__________________
Shushhhhhhhhhhhhhh......Be werrrry werrry quiet.
I am hunting wabbits.....


Story posts
First Crossing
A Secret Untold
Aimee: The Transition
Don't know where to Start

And you think that they are talking about ice cream.

__________________

*puts some icecream on her breast...vanilla with rainbow sprinkles*
we are now!

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I tried pistachio once but didn't care for the freezing cold nuts.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

It's alllll good

__________________
I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

Who's talking ice cream?

*puts in my order for peppermint stick ice cream covered with hot fudge*

I like things in the bedroom that way too.... but usually get served vanilla.

Its still good if you can manage to throw in a few sprinkles once in awhile.

mmmmmmmmm...how bout a cherry popsicle? they're always good

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I have to agree with a cherry popsicle!

i like vanilla too, but there are tasty variations of vanilla

i believe creativity truely fuels the fires of passion

I like to finish with whipped cream.