03-01-2005, 06:39 PM
|
|
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 693
|
|
"Parents"
PARENT- Job DescriptionThis is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would
have become parents!!!!
POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass YOU.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job
training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary
scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
|
03-01-2005, 06:48 PM
|
|
pixie of the wood
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
|
|
so true :grin: i loved that!
|
03-01-2005, 08:38 PM
|
|
Freeze!
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
|
|
Stolen kisses, I'm not sure what is more disconcerning about this. The fact that you found it and posted it here or the fact that it is all true. lol
|
03-01-2005, 10:57 PM
|
|
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 693
|
|
Mark-
What's wrong with posting it here? There are parents here- like yourself- and hey- it was funny. Dont Pixies have a sense of humor? I know I do.
|
03-01-2005, 11:34 PM
|
|
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
|
|
I know that it's hard to believe,but when your kids grow up & have kids of
their own,it's ALL worth it! Irish
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
|
03-02-2005, 12:00 AM
|
|
Awesome on my Own
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Schoolhouse Rocks!
Posts: 4,366
|
|
good heavens! how true! i love it, and thanks for posting it! I gotta tell my friends that are parents about it! they'll get a kick out of it like i did!
I have two adorable youngsters and (geez) i want more!
|
03-02-2005, 03:33 AM
|
|
Freeze!
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stolen Kisses
Mark-
What's wrong with posting it here? There are parents here- like yourself- and hey- it was funny. Dont Pixies have a sense of humor? I know I do.
|
I was trying to be ironic. Sorry it didn't come out that way.
|
03-02-2005, 04:40 AM
|
|
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,686
|
|
Mark, perhaps we need to talk to the mods for a " hey don't shoot me I'm only being ironic" smiley.
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
|
03-03-2005, 01:41 AM
|
|
Freeze!
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
|
|
Too right Oldfart. It would certainly help.lol
|
Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:11 PM.
|