Dude...where's my car? it being a...body shop and all..

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Slave To The Metal!

"It's a shame the sewer's have no good chairs to sit on around here"

...beings it's an upholstery shop and we make seating for the world!

But, on a daily basis I make my boss laugh. It's just that every single thing I say to him is a [you'd have to be there for it to make sense] kinda thing!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Hey, Serge...there's a reason that France is always PINK on maps. Where's your fighting spirit?


(((my boss is French )))


EDIT: Ok...It doesn't sound very funny now, but I felt it was at the time.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

"I didn't call you gay...I just said "If you tell them you're gay, they'll stop sending you the Victoria Secret catalog." I think there's a big difference!"

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

ROFLMAO

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

Gosh, I don't know where to begin. How 'bout:


"Okay--I'm never going to rehab with you again."


[Note: We went to visit a client--her as the attorney and me as the notary--but it's much funnier when you don't know that.]

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

You’re fired!!

After a long discussion we built it HIS way……………. Then we tested it.

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This is something my boss said to me. Now I think some of you will agree with the joke.

The brain, heart and the asshole are arguing over who is in charge.

The brain says "Well I am coz without me none of you would work."

The heart says "Well I am coz without me none of you would work."

The asshole says "No you're both wrong I am the boss."

So the brain and heart laugh at the asshole and say "yeah ok then, prove it."

So the asshole doesn't work for a week and the heart starts to get all hot and the brain starts to worry. Eventually the brain and heart yeild and the asshole goes back to work.

What's the moral of the story?

All bosses are assholes!

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My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie

Goes back a few years. My desk was in front of my bosses and one day, workers were working on the pipes in the ceiling above us when one of the ceiling tiles got bumped and fell down beside him.

I turned around, looked up and said ... "Up two and over one!"

Turned back around and went back to work.