Rodney Dangerfield has passed away at 82. reports say he never truly recovered from recent heart surgery.

Quotes attributed to him:

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window. -- (Back to School, 1986)

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap....He was in the electric chair.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

More quotes:

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

They change the sheets every day... from one bed to another.

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

oh gosh.... how sad.

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~Tainted Love~

Yeah...I woke to this report on the news this morning. Very sad news, indeed! He was one of a kind...a true gem of a comedian. He'll be missed, but never forgotten!

Hey Steph...did you know Rodney was one of the few people in the U.S. who could legally smoke pharmaceutical pot? Wonder if he left that legacy to anyone in his will?

R.I.P. Rodney...maybe now you'll get some respect!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Rodney Dangerfield always made me laugh. He let the world know that it's ok to not be perfect and beautiful.

In addition to bringing us laughter himself, he also discovered Roseanne, Robert Townsend, Tim Allen, Jim Carrey, Jerry Seinfeld and the late great Sam Kinison.

RIP Jacob

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

........r.i.p

very funny man

the others were funny... he was a funny guy, but i didn't expect these ^^^

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

The world doesn't have enough funny men who have a serious side too. He will be missed.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Tonite Letterman had one of his great lines:

"My wife signed me up for a bridge club...I'm jumping next Thursday..."

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

So I asked my wife why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm? She said.because you're never around..........A funny man...He will be greatly missed.

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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller

Sad news... sad indeed.

He will be missed.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Loved RD. He was truly one of a kind. I'll miss him.

I don't get no respect.No respect at all. Last night a hooker told me she had headache.......I went to a discount massage parlour......It was self service.

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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller