Here we go. I only wish that this was the speech at my high school graduation, and not some boring bullshit about how the dipshit owner of a chain of What he Laughly Passes as Mexican Resturants overcame his illiteracy and dropping out of high school to become a multi-millionaire becuase of hard work.

Fuck Now

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.

And what are the chances that would ever be allowed past the first sentence at a high school graduation ceremony?

Zero, if even that high.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

It's good advice, tho... a little short on the safety issue, but kids today oughta know that part already...

& good barbeque advice at the end too...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.