for Anal Play
10. Don't use Valvoline as a lube, unless you are going to be buttfucking at high speeds.
9. Anal fisting is difficult, anal fisting while holding maracas is VERY difficult.
8. Don't insert objects unless they are easily retrived or you don't need them much.
7. Repeated/prolonged anal play can result in a loss of sensitivity - a quick application of #120 grit sandpaper will restore it. You are oversensitive when you can sit on a Lifesaver and determine the flavor.
6. Air introduced to the rectum results in flatulence - insert a pennywhistle or duck call to turn the inevitable into entertainment.
5. Count your toys, and locate wallet and car keys before leaving the room.
4. Methane is inflammable. "Polaris Missile Launch" is NOT a safe game.
3. Do not slice vegetables prior to insertion unless you want to play "Piggy Bank".
2. Enemas with various fluids can be fun, but note that grape Koolaid will give your butthole a purple moustache. and . . .
1. "Don't put that in your mouth, you DO know where it's been!"
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