submitted by gekkogecko



LONDON (Reuters) - No embarrassment will be spared on
Wednesday when rock star Sting presents one of
Britain's least-desired literary awards -- the Bad Sex
in Fiction Award.

Now in its 11th year, the dubious honor is awarded by
the Literary Review magazine for the most inept
description of sexual intercourse in a novel.

Nominated authors for this year's prize include John
Updike, Paul Theroux, Paulo Coelho and Alan Parker.

Among the climactic passages in the contest is one
from former BBC radio executive Rod Liddle's "Too
Beautiful for You."

"She came with the exhilarating whoops and pant-hoots
of a troop of Rhesus monkeys, which was flattering, if
alarming."

Motoring themes are to the fore. In Tama Janowitz's
"Peyton Amberg" a lover's intimate probing of the
heroine is "as if he was searching for lost car keys,"
while in Aniruddha Bahal's "Bunker 13" a female
partner "picks up a Bugatti's momentum."

Musical metaphors are also well represented.

The multi-orgasmic female narrator of Paolo Coelho's
"Eleven Minutes" reaches Heaven -- "I was the earth,
the mountains, the tigers, the rivers that flowed into
the lakes, the lake that became the sea."

Sting, who once boasted that yoga had improved his
sexual endurance, will present the prize Wednesday
evening after each of the competing passages have been
read to a 500-strong audience.

Previous winners include AA Gill, Sebastian Faulks and
Melvyn Bragg.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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No sex WITH Sting could be bad, though!

Steph,

I sense gender inequity here!

__________________
Eudaimonia

I'm sure you'd enjoy him, too!

Steph,

Him, no.

You, on the other hand....

__________________
Eudaimonia

*laughing* I didn't even know they gave out an award like that.

__________________
Kitty's Lingerie
Kitty's 1000th
Surprise Threesome
Lazy Evening
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Once you can accept the universe as Matter expanding into Nothing, that is Something. After that, wearing stripes with plaid is easy. --unknown