10-08-2003, 07:07 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
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SAT awnsers to help your children!
SAT Answers
============
The following questions and answers were collected from SAT's
(Scholastic Aptitude Test) given to 16-year-old students in
Springdale, Arkansas in 2000! (Aw, come on now - you've got to be kidding)
Q - Name the four seasons.
A - Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q - Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
to drink.
A - Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q - How is dew formed?
A - The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q - What is a planet?
A - A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q - What causes the tides in the oceans?
A - The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no
water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget
where the sun joins in this fight.
Q - In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A - Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
election.
Q - What happens to your body as you age?
A - When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.
Q - Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A - Premature death.
Q - How can you delay milk turning sour?
A - Keep it in the cow.
Q - How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(e.g., abdomen.)
A - The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the
brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the
abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q - What is the Fibula?
A - A small lie.
Q - What does "varicose" mean?
A - Nearby.
Q - What is the most common form of birth control?
A - Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q - Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section."
A - The cesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q - What is a seizure?
A - A Roman emperor.
Q - What is a terminal illness?
A - When you are sick at the airport.
Q - What does the word "benign" mean?
A - Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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10-08-2003, 09:03 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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LOL ~ all very good!!!! 
__________________
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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10-08-2003, 10:09 PM
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here and there
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western NY
Posts: 3,601
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HAH! I like it!
__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White
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10-08-2003, 10:36 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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*LOL*
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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10-09-2003, 09:01 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
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Irish,
I dunno guy, they're probably true.
__________________
Eudaimonia
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