Well gee golly, here I am more depressed then I've been in a real real long time and theres not a single person on any of my messengers or in the chat or anything *sigh*

Of course I don't know why I keep putting myself though this, ya think one of these times I would learn and just stop but no , lol I guess everything has just been building up as I've been rather down for the past while, but tonight it just kinda got worse

Ya know I've always done my best to keep my spirits high, I mean no point mopeing about things but sometimes I can't help but just take some downtime

sad thing is how alone I feel, even the people I care about I play second string for there feelings ,I don't know maybe it's wrong for me to want to be important to someone so much, maybe I've just become to dependant on others and hate being this lonely again

so now I"m sitting here in the the early hours of the day, listneing to Linkin park's In The End lol which has been my anthem since the day I first heard it , I really do enjoy the song, it's exactly how I feel about the way things are

of course really I"m siting here typeing this out because I have no one to chat to to keep my mind off of all my problems. so anyone who has taken the time to read this you get a big ol thumbs up lol

I'd actually rather perfer this not look like a call for sypathy or whatnot, just a combonation of bordom and depression and the strange inner urge to fight to make someone understand the way I feel inside,

I also find it amusing that so many people will say to me that it's better to loved and lost then to have never loved at all, but I disagree with that statement, ignorance is bliss, if you don't know what your missing you can't miss it, and what I had certainly isn't worth the amount of pain that I'm going though right now

however on the other hand I suppose it could be looked at as it wasn't actually love, which I suppose wouldn't only make sense , ignoreing the fact that it's a completely self serving argument of course, which is really the only thing keeping me going right now , the fact that there has to be something else out there

the sheer belief that this... disappointment couldn't possibly be what I've been searching for all this time, of course it all causes me to really doubt my own judgement , I mean if in two yeras time Icouldn't tell the difference then what do I really have to look forward to, I haven't learned how to identify love any more carefully, if anything the only thing I've learned is that it's far more ellusive then I even imagined

to make things that much more annoying I've lost yet another chat name for those of you who have heard, lol so if you see any Sammy or Samuel it's not me, just a word to the wise, don't fall for imitations, one name I could see, the fact that they both got taken only leads me to believe I'm targeted for some reason oh well doens't matter , a name is just a label, I just don't like people impersonating me

the futility of everything I do seems to annoy me to no end, it seems like no matter how hard I try I don't actually advance any, maybe I'm too young to be feeling trapped in such a rutt, I know I certainly long for the hope and happiness that love brings, perhaps to much

as for now though the highspirited samuel just fell that much further

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You ask me if I've known love and what it's like to sing songs in the rain?
Well I've seen love come, I've seen shot down, I've it die in vain

Maybe someday I'll see you again, and you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend.

You need to be that important to you!!!!!

When you believe yourself worthy you will begin to make choices that reflect that. These are usually positive influences in your life. As I tell my kids, make good choices and you are making good things happen. The same goes for making no choices, make no choices and make absolutely nothing happen.

I understand you are down, everyone, yes, even me gets like that, but it's the choices you make that will make things happen that matter.

Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away


It is up to you whether or not you want to waste time. It's your choice. If you are unhappy you can sit and watch the clock or surround yourself with positive influences. Do something just for you! Sorry it's early and I am rambling. I hope you feel better soon but you will only feel better when you decide to. No one can do it for you.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Woohoo!!!
I got a thumbs up!!!!! Hooray!


Incubus, just relax. I find in these situations it's best to stop, take a step back and have a look at the bigger picture. Stop dwelling on one negative in your life - look to the positives and develop them!
Look for things you're doing well in - are you performing really well in work or school? Do you have a hobby that's coming along well? What is happening in your life that you can look at and say "Yeah, that's pretty damn cool!"

That'll lift your spirits, and give you confidence. And what are high spirits and confidence most famous for? For being SEXY and ATTRACTIVE and INTERESTING and POPULAR!!!

I wish you all the best my friend, and as always if you want to talk in PM or in chat or whatever you're more than welcome to do so.
CasperTG

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

This too shall pass, Sammy. You were up all night and people can get down on themselves . . . I hope you feel better soon.

Thanx for the comments people lol,I'm actually feeling better this morning, somewhat my throat is killing meand it' still far to hot in here lol but I'm feeling a bit more cheerful which is no surprize , talking outloud always makes me feel better a bit

lol as for doing things I'm not the type to sit around and complain that everything sucks while not doing anything, actually at the moment Ive got an appointment to go andsort out what some good career options for someone like myself would be, of course I set up that appointment and I can't get in till the 29th and they said to wait till the first appointment before rushing off doing anything lol so the wait is being a pain in the ass

But hey all good things come in time eh? lol guess I'm just impatient to get back on my feet again, I was rather psyched up about taking the courses and having to wait a month put a big ol damper on things.

But hey like I said, thanx for all the kind words peoples lol It's much appreciated

__________________
You ask me if I've known love and what it's like to sing songs in the rain?
Well I've seen love come, I've seen shot down, I've it die in vain

Maybe someday I'll see you again, and you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend.

I'm telling you...it's the damn gravy! Enough with the gravy, it's killing you!

Step away from the gravy boat, Sam!

And stop singing to your cats! I have news for you... They don't appreciate it! They will just look at you funny and walk away.

Are you smiling yet?

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

lol yes yes I'm smilng Irish lmao you crazy ol coot you ^__^ although I still say the cats love my singing! hehe


thanx for the laughs chap much appreciated hehe

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You ask me if I've known love and what it's like to sing songs in the rain?
Well I've seen love come, I've seen shot down, I've it die in vain

Maybe someday I'll see you again, and you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend.

*Big Hugs* I realize that you and I haven't had but one chance to chat (my fault I know I need to get my ass to chat more) but I enjoyed that chat and hope to get to know you better. In the meantime, hang in there, it seems to me you are a pretty great guy which means great things will definitely be happening for you

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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses *S* @};-