Anyone else have trouble delivering bad news to people? Especially when you're in control of a decision? For instance:

1. Deciding to break off a relationship
2. Refusing someone your time/money/posessions that has made a legitimate demand upon you
3. Turning down a job offer (one you worked hard to get)

I'm guilty of this right now...I received a job offer I *thought* I wanted, then decided I didn't want it. I found it next to impossible to admit that to the company...so I dodged calls for two days at the end of last week. Soon I have to face the music.




Does any bright Pixies person out there have any words of wisdom? Stories to tell, or suggestions on how to "break the bad news"??

In a classy way, of course.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Come right out and tell them osuche!!! That you've thought about it and decided that it wasn't a good move for you right now. The truth doesn't hurt a bit.

__________________
I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

In some situations...I feel that being an indecisive female is unacceptable. <sigh>

They went to thousands of dollars of expense to recruit me (plane fare, hotel, entertainment, (twice!), phone calls, expediting the offer because I asked them to) because I pushed them... And now I don't want it.

I'm a little embarrassed...and don't want it to reflect poorly on me professionally.

<sigh> Why isn't *anything* easy?

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Madam/Sir:

I thank you for your consideration and offer. I would like to respond in a timely manner and let you know that I do not feel I am the person to fill your requirements at this time.

With regrets,

Ms Susie Wizard


LOL-
I’m sure there a many details that only you are aware of, but I do recommend responding quickly if you have made your decision. Details are not necessary and could become entangling. You may want to do it in the cleanest manner possible as to minimize bridge burning.


(just a thought)

__________________

PF's got it. Fast, clean, with as little breast beating as possible. If you need to, tell them that you appreciate them expediting the offer, but you situation has changed and that you are no longer in a position to accept it.

I don't know your situation, but most companies I do know of consider the price of flying out candidates (etc. etc.) just the cost of doing business. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose.

But avoiding the decision is going to hurt them more in the long term. If you needed more time to MAKE your decision, you'd be well within your rights to ask for it. But if it's already made, it's time to let these folks off the hook and find themselves someone else to do the job.

Just _be_ professional about it, and it can't reflect badly on you.

Osuche my heart goes out to you. I know it's hard but I think Ginger's right. Most companies recruit heavily and don't consider the cost anything more than a write off. Being professional about it would tend to be looking at them without reservation and saying "Well guys, I've had a better offer." It's really not their business what the offer is. I'm sure you'll handle it though. You're pretty straight up from what I read. Think of it this way. If they handle this badly they won't have a chance to recruit you if they find another opening down the road. They're the ones who should handle this professionally.

__________________
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

you could always say that you feel your talents would be wasted with their current Business mentality, and you would be better of with a more vision fucused company

well it worth a try

__________________
Enjoy yourself!
Enjoy me!

Behind me is a Woman rolling her eye's!

The only opinion about me that matters is the one I have of myself

The longer you wait the more likely you will be seen as "stringing them along". I took a job that sounded sooooooo promising once. The reality was a nightmare but leaving meant I could be seen as unreliable by an entire school district. I went to the head of the school board ( charter school) and told them I was leaving and exactly why. I packed and left immediately, so scared that I had fucked myself bad. 12 more people quit in the next week after me. Doing what you have to do is hard sometimes but just be honest and quick about it!((hugs))

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Osuche,

The old line that "unexpected family circumstances have

intervened and you are regrettably unable to take up their

most generous offer" comes to mind.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

That's a good one, Oldfart.

Getting it over with is the best route, osuche. You can even leave a voice mail when you know they're not going to be there

I'm not sure if you're planning to do it writing, though.

Thanks everyone for the good ideas and pep talk. Sometimes it's easy to get so psyched up...that I end up frozen in indecision.

Thanks for helping me "see the forest for the trees."

BTW -- deed was done today. E-mail in the morning (I used some ideas from all of you) followed by a phone call -- to add the personal touch.

Now...I'm committed to my new company and all barriers are removed. Thanks!

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Good luck with the new company osuche ((()))

__________________

i gets trouble doing that sometimes, usually i just tell people straight out, but there's there small select group that i just cant tell things to for some reason. =\

__________________
-Oz