Little Nature

There's a lake in the woods and a fly is flying over the water. There's a fish in the water, and he thinks, if the fly drops two inches, I can jump out of the water and eat the fly.

There's also a bear beside the river and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out of the water, and I can eat the fish.

There's a hunter in the woods and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out the water, the bear will go after the fish, and I can shoot the bear.

There's a mouse behind the hunter, and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out the water, the bear will go after the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, and the recoil from the hunter's gun will make the ham and cheese sandwich fall out of his pocket.

There's a cat watching the mouse, and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out the water, the bear will go after the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the recoil from the hunter's gun will make the ham and cheese sandwich fall out of his pocket, and I can eat the mouse.

So this is what happens: the fly drops two inches, the fish jumps for the fly, the bear goes after the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the recoil from the hunter's gun knocks the ham and cheese sandwich out of his pocket, the mouse goes after the sandwich, the cat goes after the mouse, slips, and falls into the water.

The moral of the story? It takes a lot of foreplay to get a pussy wet.

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

ROFL....... cute

LMAO

Aint it the truth...

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Love...the slowest form of suicide.

Cute!

HAHAHAHAHA love it Cheyanne

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Life? O that thing again!

"I now leave you to your moosey fate"

Are we there yet?

LOL @ Cheyanne

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And while we're on the subject of foreplay.... all you Brits take note:

July 30th is National Foreplay Day in the UK. So, spend an extra half hour or more!!

July 31st, the day immediately after, is National Orgasm Day in the UK. I'm not sure if that means after 24 hours of foreplay you get 24 hours of orgasms, but it sounds like it'd be fun trying!! teehee!!

I do have to wonder who designates days like this. The UK had National Nude Day a few weeks ago. Is it the government? Are politicians arguing in parliament about which day to celebrate Female Ejaculation Day? Or are bored civil servants just doing it on their own accord? National Masturbate At Work Day.... oh hang on, that's a typical civil servant's job anyway..... teeheeheee! I'm so bad!

My apologies to any civil servants, politicians or orgams that may be offended by this post, it was not my intention to insult anyone at all.

CasperTG

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

LMAO Cheyanne. That was cute! Thanks.

Oh Cheyanne! I loved it!

I have this thing I say to people who I know are more long winded than me (yessss...they are out there!)....."Is this a gun story"? All the while I am making motion of taking out an invisible revolver, opening the bullet chamber, reaching into my pocket to get bullets, loading the chamber, clicking it closed and holding it to my temple!

So Cheyanne? Got anymore gun stories? LOL!

*hugs* TY for the smile!

And Casper.........."Is this a gun story hun"? OMG!!!! Too funny!

*running out of the thread and ducking the tomatoes*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

LOL Lixy...... was kinda like the hole in the bottom of the sea.. but the punch line made it worth it...

If I find anymore, I will certainly post them....

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.