It just makes me proud to be British !!

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the Christmas lights were plugged in.

542 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to hospital in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally.........

In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet..

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FussyPucker

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!

The Special One!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just remember stupid is a world wide commodity

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

FussyPucker~ Thanks for the good laugh!

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Though dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts; they serve for sweet relieving when fantasy and reality lie too far apart.-Fiona Apple

Hi fussypucker

~wiping a tear of pride from my eye~

It's things like this that make Britain Great !!!

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Strength in depth

I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul

Only 8 cracked their skulls? How many cracked the toilet instead? Hard-headed lot, y'know...
(I can say that, I have Brit ancestery...)

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

That is too funny,

Now how about this!


IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the
telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00
p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that
I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work
without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was
signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed
on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit
by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've
recently been with some of these people...

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the
light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is
leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer- in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would
not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that
side."

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Flattery will get you everywhere!

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Oh Geezzzzzzzzzz! ROFLMFAO!

But wait........I know this is out of character for me but I have a question. (LMAO!.........Shaddup!)

How does putting a 9v battery on your tongue.....kill you? I do it all the time!

*THUD*......*drops down dead!*

No.....really! I need to know!!!!!!!??????

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I have heard this can happen if you have a faulty pacemaker installed......I never believed it myself......but stranger things can happen I guess.

Geesh every morning I risk a heart attack.....ya know, first sight of myself in the mirror

Oh......hmmmmmmmm!!! TY BIBI! I never thought of that! Guess cause I don't have a pacemaker. Well....there ya go! I do learn something new everyday! LOL!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~