"Hey, dad, heard ya cussin'. Mind if I join ya? Crap, boobs, crap!" -Bart

Lisa: "Dad, women won't like being shot in the face."

Homer: "Women will like what I tell them to like."

Marge: "What do you think he's doing up there?"

Homer: *shrugs* "Drug lab?"

Marge: "Drug lab?!"

Homer: "Or readin' comics. What am I, Kreskin?"

"...And then I invented something that blew up the alien's heads and saved the Earth." -Homer

"You should eat more fiber, head-in-sock Ed boy." -Rolf

"Careful, as the dogs have had their way with that waterplug." -Rolf

Ed: "It's a kazoo!"

Rolf: "Not even close, square-peg-in-round-hole Ed boy."

SpongeBob: "Hi, Patrick. I'm confused."

Patrick: "Yes, I am."

"Outta the way, you losers! Nice guy comin' through." -Bravo

"Hey, watch where yer goin', etiquette-monkey!" -Bravo

"This zoo sucks. Why aren't the animals doing anything? I've seen plays better than this. Honest to God-- plays!" -Homer

Step 1: collect underpants.
Step 2: ...
Step 3: Profit!

-The Underpants Gnomes' Master Plan