JenT---That's why I always say -Different strokes;for different folks!To me a PM is nothing like a phone call.I PM with alot of males here.Does that make me gay?I think that my wife would tell
you-"Not a chance!"I have been married to the same woman for
37yrs now;and I think that she would know.There is nothing wrong with it but that's just not me! Irish
P.S.There are friends and there are sexual partners!

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Hey Irish...slow your role, man. No one is saying PMs=homo Irish...just saying they're a means of communicating in real time.

I think porn is different because you're getting off on an image whereas cybering is interaction with another person. I've only been on this site for a short time and some pms are innocent, others aren't. I'm sure we're all different and there are thousands of different reasons for logging on.

I've cybered when I was in a long-distance relationship and admittedly, felt guilty about it. When I've purchased erotica or watched porn while dating someone, I didn't have the guilt.

I appreciate every one's viewpoints and wouldn't dream of flaming you RandyGirl - You've made some very good points, too.

My thoughts are with you, Jen.

HappyBoBo---I wasn't saying that PMs=gay.I was using that as a
comparison.I subscribe to Muscle and Fitness&Flex also because
one of my hobbies is bodybuilding!I recently wrote to their Feedback column because a woman wrote in bitching about the
fact that they had just had a swimsuit edition(or something like
that)She complained that she didn't want her husband looking at
those women in skimpy suits.I wrote in that I had told my wife that some woman would complain& that it didn't make me gay if
I looked at men in posing suits.They published my letter(by the way)because they realised the comparison.If you look at the back
issues of Flex;you will see a letter signed Thomas J Ahern;63 Calef
Hwy.,Rochester,N.H.That is me. Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Irish said:

"Randygirl(formal)---If I read; your reply right;you think that masturbating to a magazine or picture is cheating."
________________________________

Actually I'm saying just the opposite.

I don't happen to think masturbating to a magazine, picture or anything else is cheating. I also don't happen to think PM's are cheating nor is cybersex. It's personal yes, but it isn't cheating in the way I define the word.

Sometimes two people meet and marry and need different kinds or types of stimulation. A place like this where you can joke, tease, and make friends with people who on a whole are very sexual beings doesn't mean you are having an affair with those people....innuendo and flirting here are not the same as sex and sometimes it's what keeps the libido going at home.

Sorry this got so long...it isn't my thread and I don't want to hog it.

I just wouldn't want someone to judge the whole place just by the fact that many of the topics are sex related. There are many MORE fun things and people here too...

I also knew you were saying the opposite, Randy. You're not hogging this thread. It is the most serious thread I've contributed to since I've been here. JenT's husband - are you here, what's your take on this?

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Sharniqua, I could NOT agree more.

This really is a nice place for people to be able to have a good discussion and you're very right. While people don't have to agree they CAN do it politely.

Tonite though, I do hope that this couple fares well thru the rough times.

I too have disagreed with some of the things said in this thread but it is the very essence of Pixies that very deep and important things can be discussed with respect for other viewpoints.

For me I felt the distress of Jen T and related a lot to what happened at the end of my marriage. My wife felt that the internet was the cause of my problems. It was not actually, it was an outlet that allowed me to keep my sanity in a tough situation.

We went to councselling and we were asked when did you first feel there was trouble in your marriage, My wife said 3 years and I said 10 years. We learnt so much about each other in those sessions with another person present, things that would not have come out without her there. I am sorry that we had not gone years before as it would have changed things a lot.

I have seen that a member of Pixies is leaving and is going to counselling because of this thread and I am hoping and praying for them both. They have both said they love each other so there is real hope.

It is sad to lose a member but what a tragedy if a family falls apart and perhaps this thread has gone some way towards preventing human misery and actually helping rebuild a relationship

RandyGal---In the prude contest;I'd like to have a runoff between
your mother and mine.Mine is now 89yrs. and is so religous that if
the pope told her to jump off a bridge;she would do it!When I was a kid;I felt sorry for my father.She really thought that sex was for
procreation ONLY!Whatever you do; don;t enjoy it.They had trouble;concieving; again ;after me.Therefore you can imagine how much they had sexual contact! Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Wow was that ugly.

I have the truth now, but I sure didn't like the way I got it.

He has agreed to stop using this site until we resolve our differences - or don't.

THE END

P.S. For the record: I'm not a prude, I just don't share.

I wish you and your husband all the best Jen.

I'm sorry things got ugly for you and pray that you can both get your marriage back on track.

Erm i know i dont really have right to say but.......
Have you seen any of theses Private messages? becaus ei send and recieve alot of them when i am here and i have the time and i dont think in any of them there has been a single mention of cybersex. And the only closest link to it is me sending personal opinions on peoples posts. And i can understand about the feeling as though your boyfriend is cheating, all i can really say and possibly advise is for the both of you to sit down and have a quiet talk about it to just try and sort a few things out etc does he know about how you feel on the whole about this situation?

I don't think the prude comment was directed at Jen, it was more in reference to different people's reactions to things.

We can all sympathize with your feelings. I hope everything works out for you both.

Hm.m... I went away for a day and a half and this thread took off... this reply is really a bit late, but as there was a question posed I though that I would still post...


(thanks)



I guess that it all comes down to what it is that you are looking for in life... as I have seen in many of the replies for each person it is something a little different. In my case I guess that looking around at my family and friends puts me in a place that requires a lasting relationship to have full and complete trust. I do not make friends easily, but those that I do count amongst my true close friends all know what they can expect of me... and in the return I have learned what I can expect of them.

Of course this is also the reason I am probably still single


No fear of that happening from me (at least in most cases ) as there is never anything to be gained by that type of behavior...

Open discussion is the best way to learn and understand...

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White