12-31-2003, 11:02 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,565
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Realistic Cybersex
Realistic Cybersex
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner. ..it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <{logged off}>
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12-31-2003, 11:13 PM
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Pixie since 9/3/2001
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 16,995
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Wellhung: Hello anybody out there??
__________________
Growing older is manditory, growing up is optional
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12-31-2003, 11:28 PM
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Ethical Epicurean
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Santa Monica California
Posts: 1,570
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FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! !!! I loved it.Great laugh........So real to my live. hhehehhehehhehehehh
__________________
Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller
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01-01-2004, 12:49 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 74
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Lilith, that's hilarious. I've read it a few times but it never fails to crack me up...
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01-01-2004, 08:59 AM
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Jumpin' Jelly Bean
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 954
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Things are in that story you wouldn't expect, but I like it!
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01-01-2004, 09:06 AM
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Huggable!
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Northeast coast, USA
Posts: 5,055
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LOL.... Thats great!
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01-01-2004, 09:24 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Kent
Posts: 49
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really good - a bit long though. how long did it take?
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01-01-2004, 09:39 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
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Lilith,
Excellent! Thank you.
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Eudaimonia
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01-01-2004, 09:44 AM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,565
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I thought even those of you who don't cyber might appreciate it
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01-01-2004, 09:59 AM
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It wasn't me!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Yorkshire UK
Posts: 1,370
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good one got me chuckling big style - thanks
__________________
What is life?
If not an excuse for death,
and what is death,
if not an escape from life?
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01-01-2004, 10:05 AM
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Southern Belleified
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 2,316
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lol. I think I have met both of them at parties!
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Half of a set :halo:
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01-01-2004, 10:30 AM
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Jumpin' Jelly Bean
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 954
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LMAO - glad I'm not a victim of what happened to those 2 in that story!
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01-01-2004, 12:22 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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I think that happened to me just a few days ago.
Lil, were you evesdropping?
__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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01-01-2004, 02:45 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
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I LOVE those jokes!!!! Here's another:
Funniest Thing Ever! AIM Convo's...
Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a ***** anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.
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01-01-2004, 05:51 PM
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Wet Member
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 5,640
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They are both funny...The funny thing is I have met both those guys, under aliases ...
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Susan
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