I guess i'm writing this out of a little bit of frustration here but I'm so puzzled by women that play "Hard to get" type of deal.

So here's the situation...I met this girl through this online dating site and yeah it's cool and we chat up a little via email...move to msn and continuing talking and eventually we exchange facebook stuff and talk a little more on msn before i ask for her # and we decided we'd go out sometime for some coffee (simple date right?).

So after I get her # I was like ok I'm free this week at said time and how's it for you...busy, try another day, busy, and another busy etc. So after a little while of "scheduling" lol we left it open ended and said ok next week for sure...but she knows i'm flying out the upcoming weekend for 3 1/2 weeks out of the country (vacation). So a day or two goes by and i msn her and try to iron out a date time but she told me she won't know the schedule till Saturday (which is fine with me).

So come today (Sunday)...i call this morning and she says she's busy and to call her later tonight. I was like ok sure no problem. So I call in the evening and no pick up, i didn't bother leaving her a msg but I emailed her saying it's like impossible to get in touch with you jokingly and told her to email me back as it seemed to work better that way at the beginning. So later that evenign I see her on msn and i msn'ed her "is it a good time to call you? lol" and she replied back saying that well nows not a good time and sets her display to "busy" with no explanation.

From my perspective here...this is ridiculous...like come on i'm totally being led around by the nose and quite frankly that's totally not right. It's not like I haven't attempted to get in touch with her, nor have i been pushy or rude in any sense on the phone or msn. It's like a lack of genuiness and quite frankly I'm not going to bother trying to get in touch with her anymore as it's over a week and 1/2 now since I got her digits, and literally i've been the only one calling (she msn'ed me a few times but come on...equality here, guys want to feel wanted too ya know, simple phone call is all it would take).

Now that I got her off my mind at the moment, I'm just going to concentrate on having a good time in a few days when my vacation takes me to Hawaii with the beautiful women there in hawaiian dresses

Anyhow, have any of you single people who date encountered people like this?

She was trying to be kind. She's not interested. You need to focus on learning how to read the signs. When she right away, consistently, was not available she was trying to be polite. She needs to learn to just say, "I'm not interested" and walk away and stop worrying about being kind.
Btw there is not one particular sex or another that plays more mind games. Just like there is not one particular sex that is not adept at understanding when people are trying to avoid them.

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The easy way is, if your date says "Let's have sex", you're in.

If your date says anything else, try someone else.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Yup.. thats right.

Reading what you said she did Lil is right (again) she aint interested. She just don't know how to say no politly.

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Everyone Talks, Friends Listen

While we're generalising, why is it that men never consider that women may simply not be attracted to them, but rather think that they are so desirable that women will stoop to complex mind games in order to bag them?!

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Fruit flies like a banana"

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Well now you're just talking silly! Of course that's not a consideration!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

This is why the smart men skip the "being nice" part, spend half their lifetime and soul trying to make a million or more dollars so that they can spend it frivilously on ostentatious, material things for gifts that females typically flock towards without thinking, such as $5,000 Prada canvas shopping tote bags...and then they can sleep with women less than half their age without even trying.

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*sighs* I had a "feeling" that she wasn't interested...but I'm a guy that's pretty driven so I'll continue to pursue it to a certain degree until I can CLEARLY say there's no chance hahah. Call it something like I don't like giving up that easily without absolute certainty ie. stubborn or iron willed lol. I'm a cyclist after all so I think it's the latter.

But what gets me is why on earth would she give me her REAL digits in the first place? That's what bugs me, usually a lady will give out her # to only those who she finds interesting (well at least that's how i assume it would be). It's not like I got a rejection number lol...

As a guy i've been asked out before and I don't mind giving out my #. If that's the case I'll usually pursue it with genuiness in mind, not this crap I had to put up with and wasting my time. I'll be sure to post up some photos of me living it up with the ladies in Hawaii on facebook for sure...so if she happens to come across my facebook page again well lookie lookie, what fun we "could've" had :P

What also gets me is why people can't just be straight and direct about it. Like a girl one time asked me if i was interested in her and I said that I'd just be interested in getting to know you. That's pretty direct and to the point, sure it lacks intimacy and style but hey there's no confusion or mystery bout it lol.

Hey there now! I've never said that a woman is using complex mind games to catch me off guard. No, I'm a mature man and I realize that it is entirely possible for a woman to not be interested in me. We call them lesbians.




Hear Hear! If I knew then what I knew now I would have used college to focus 100% on my career to maximize my profit and earnings potential, and then when I retire when I am 40 I will be surrounded by beautiful women and have a case of V1@gr@.

Make that retire at 35 if I go to medical school and come up with a surgery for a working penis augmentation. Well, not really retirement, but I would find my second calling in porn.

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.

Well I don't date anymore, but episodes like this are one of the reasons I gave up on dating in general.

Well look on the bright side! You got a response, and got to the point where you exchanged phone numbers! I mean come on from what I hear on the dating advice forums that's further than most men who look for a date online get!

But let's talk about her.

Maybe she has a boyfriend?

Maybe she is nervous becuase she keeps hearing about the rapists on Myspace, and thinks you're one of them.

Maybe she saw your pic and thought you look like Pirates of the Caribbean Orlando Bloom and not Lord of the Rings Orlando Bloom.

Maybe she really is a spam bot. Did she send you links to "free" porn or give away naked pictures of herself?

But you will just go nuts trying to figure out the whys. The important thing to realize is that this particular girl was really not that into you.

If she was, her boyfriend wouldn't have mattered, or she would have thrown caution to the wind and decided to take that chance and go out for some free coffee with a guy who doesn't look like Johnny Depp.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I keep hoping that one day my princess will come and see past my rough exterior or my lack of a career, and see that deep down inside I really am prince charming and a wonderful guy. See, that's when you know a girl is into you. She can see past your faults, or even romanticizes your bad traits and is willing to take that chance.

Love is stupid like that.

Your clue that she wasn't interested in you was that she never called you. You called her, the ball's now in her court. There is absolutely no good excuse not involving a hospitalization for a woman to not return a call. Period.

But my advice is to just sever your ties with her. You want her for romantic (or be honest a sexual) intentions, and well it just ain't going to happen. Move on and find at least another 10 girls before even thinking of calling her again.

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.

Maybe she's nervous about meeting you? The idea of it might've been appealing to her but the reality is scary as hell, if you ask me. I get nervous enough bringing someone I've already met on a date!

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Well I'm not really going to go into much detail about answering them but I can pretty much safely answer all of'em and that's a negatory on the b/f We did talk on the phone about ex's and what not (despite that being a date killer taboo topic but hey might as well clear the air, she brought it up in the first place).

As about being nervous...that's a possibility. I think everyone is a bit nervous whenever they actually go out on a date. But come on, coffee dates are pretty much sublime and low key. Ever since I started dating, I enjoy meeting up with people.

In a span of a yr now I think i've gone out 15-20 times now i think (didn't keep count or nothing) but out of those times, I've met now 3 real good friends. Like we're friends on the basis of I invite so and so to my bday and she does the same and we talk about everything including sex and anything sexually related. I even had the pleasure of massaging them (kept it clean just fyi) So dating is about meeting people and having fun. That's all it is from my perspective.

If she doesn't want to have fun, well too bad for her :P I plan too haha

Bitter much?

I'm not too keen on your thread title, first of all.

Secondly, would you try to "corner" a friend into so many meetings? I like to call someone and wait for them to call back.

It's not a gender issue. It's a social issue.



Bitter much?

Well unless you and Kenshin are one in the same person (in which case, why the hell are you giving yourself so much advice?) my comment was addressed to him, and the title of this thread in particular and since you'd not even responded to this thread, I have no clue why you feel the need to defend yourself.

As my opening line made it clear, I was making a gross generalisation to show my objection to the generalisation that 'all women play mind games'. If I truly believed what I said to be true of all men, I probably WOULD be a lesbian!




Oh and just for the record, when I met the love of my life, online, we were both kind of seeing other people, he was living at home with his parents, was unemployed, had no drivers license or car, was on some pretty strong meds and didn't socialise much except online. Without issue I fell for him before we even met in person and we are currently living happily ever after. If someone is right for you, you won't care about stuff like that and you won't even care if she's beautiful (thank God Fussy didn't!) and she won't care about any of that stuff either.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !