It actually turns out I have biological depression... so they've got me on anti-depressants. It's starting to help, but I still get hit by really strong feelings, more often than not the bad ones... I feel really bad because it's putting a strain on all of my relationships with friends, family, coworkers and my best friend. I'm trying to keep it all under control... but it's harder than people think. And it's especially hard for me when people get mad at me over my strong reactions to things... especially when I try so hard not to let things bother me =(

I tried doing the whole masturbation thing but lost interest halfway through... they told me when I first start taking a new dose the meds would affect my sex drive. So hopefully that will come back soon. Last time it came back stronger than ever. So here's hoping it does that again ^^

I have found for me the harder I try to control something the more it controls me. I have found meditation to work, as well as just letting life be life. It also takes a little time for meds to work I know that it did for mine. Time is on your side you will get through what you have to get though. Now take a deep breath and hold it. (Wow what an impressive chest you have there) breathing exercise help an awful lot.
P.S. see me at the end of July that's going to be the coures I I'm taking, Managing Stresses

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"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."


Live Life, hearses don't come with luggage racks.
The second mouse always gets the cheese

I go to the gun range and put lots of big holes in paper targets.

If that doesn't work, go have great sweaty sex.

Unfortunately that's not possible for me. I refuse to be with anyone I don't have feelings for and the one person I DO have feelings for is a million miles away (or at least thats what it feels like). Sad thing is I probably drive the poor guy crazy with my mood swings and various other intense emotions. I'm actually thoroughly surprised he still talks to me. Dunno, I guess caring about people is funny that way.