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  #1021  
Old 11-06-2007, 11:00 AM
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A puppy named "Uno"..........
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No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

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  #1022  
Old 11-07-2007, 05:29 AM
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From the Media

Die and you're under arrest! Britain's stupidest laws revealed
Posted 5 hours 48 minutes ago
Updated 3 hours 17 minutes ago

Queen Elizabeth II's speech in the British Parliament overnight may have been routine, but at least nobody got bored to death. That would have been against the law.

Dying in Parliament is an offence and is also by far the most absurd law in Britain, according to a survey of nearly 4,000 people by a television channel showing a legal drama series.

And though the lords were clad in their red and white cloaks and ambassadors from around the world wore colourful national costumes, at least nobody turned up in a suit of armour. Illegal.

Other rules deemed utterly stupid included one that permits a pregnant woman to urinate in a policeman's hat and and another that says it is OK to murder bow-and-arrow-carrying Scotsmen within the city walls of York, northern England.

A law stating that in Liverpool, only a clerk in a tropical fish store is allowed to be publicly topless, was also ridiculous, said a poll of 3,931 people for UKTV Gold television.

Nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Cromwell.

The laws and other regulations were culled from published research into ancient legislation that has never been repealed although subsequent statutes have rendered them obsolete.

Respondents were given a shortlist and asked to vote.

Most ridiculous British laws

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 per cent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down (7 per cent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6 per cent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5 per cent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (3 per cent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4 per cent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail belongs to the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3 per cent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (3 per cent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2 per cent)

Not sure how true, but worth a chuckle.
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  #1023  
Old 11-19-2007, 08:33 PM
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A nurse telling me that she had just blown my vein and me replying, "Thank you!."
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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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  #1024  
Old 11-19-2007, 08:48 PM
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The look on Dean's face when Bela states "you know when this is over we should really have angry sex".....then the self satisfied smirk on his face when he's walking out *LMAO*
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  #1025  
Old 11-19-2007, 11:56 PM
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Watching my kitty play with his catnip cigar. He really loves that thing!
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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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  #1026  
Old 11-20-2007, 02:31 AM
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What the heck, I'll go twice in a row.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg CockPolishingServices.jpg (32.2 KB, 92 views)
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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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  #1027  
Old 11-20-2007, 03:04 AM
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SOmeone who confused a cat with a powerstrip...well, I guess they both have a similar form factor
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  #1028  
Old 11-20-2007, 09:11 AM
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The cat growling like a watch dog as a truck by really slow.
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  #1029  
Old 11-20-2007, 09:52 AM
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my little one being a luv bug
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  #1030  
Old 11-20-2007, 06:12 PM
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IowaMan and his stained glass.
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  #1031  
Old 11-22-2007, 11:25 PM
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My best friend's 5 yr old niece asking why the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were only wearing their underwear. When she was told that they were wearing white shorts she replied, "Well they look sort of slutty."
__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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  #1032  
Old 11-27-2007, 09:08 AM
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The cat watching all the leafs blowing by the window and him sticking a paw out trying to catch them.
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  #1033  
Old 11-29-2007, 06:52 PM
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Shrinkage.
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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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  #1034  
Old 12-07-2007, 04:26 PM
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Talking This is just too funny!

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus
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  #1035  
Old 12-11-2007, 01:12 AM
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Lou and his big boy meow.
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