I had a relationship many years ago. Oh, sure, we were playing lots of power games both overtly and sexual ones, and some that we didn't admit were going on at the time. We were both hurt when this relationship kind of blew up in our faces. One thing he would hold out on me was any definite statement of his love for me, or any committment to stay beyond "tomorrow". This was on top of the fact that in lots of ways I was the identified dom. Well, I got enough of it. He tried to play catch-up at the last minute, and give me far more than I wanted, but it was too late. I didn't want it at all by then.

It took us 3 years to admit that all was not what we wanted to believe it was. We get along fine now. He is quite affectionate when I do see him -- or when I see him with anyone else.

So... don't lose her by witholding affection. It can be insidious, but it's a way to lose, and not even know it's gone until it's long gone.