oh and...i work at 7-11 and i am really afraid of someone coming in and just taking a swing on me or something....but i dont admit to that....its just too horrible to imagine...especially when i've worked alone and had these idiots come in all pissed off.....

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~~Life is sexually transmitted and always fatal~~

~~Reality bites but thats what life is~~

Kimmer22~I was in an armed robbery once and I swear no one should work at jiffy stores at night.....

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Phobias? ................ Did somebody say my name??

I've alluded to this on the site before, but have never quite come out and laid down my whole phobic experience for all to see, so here goes... *deep breath*

For a long time I was completely defined by my phobias. I had the 'typical' ones, the fears of spiders and bugs (didn't help that my mother was in entymology), heights, and so on, and those alone were the cause of many sleepless nights for me.

My more severe fear, however, took the form of social phobia, also known as generalized social anxiety disorder. Basically, I've been painfully aware of criticism since I was a little kid, a perfectionist in all I do, and that and my shyness combined to make me terrified of doing anything perceived as 'wrong' or 'weird'. That culminated, when I was in high school, with an absolute horror of being embarrassed or made fun of, and a paranoia which convinced me that almost everything I said or did would be construed as 'weird'. I'm not talking about truly odd things here, either --- somehow I was convinced that something as simple as buying a lettuce at the supermarket or getting a book out of the library would make people think I was weird. (Yeah. I know. It's silly, but then again, that's what phobias are about: unreasonable fear.) Anyway, it got to the point where I could no longer go to school, and then later to the point where I couldn't leave the house at all. Not fun, let me tell you...

But happily, that phase of my life is over. I now lead an entirely normal life (well, apart from posting nude pics of myself on the internet ) and to talk to me in person you'd barely even realize that I'm shy, let alone that I've had that kind of experience. To be perfectly honest, sometimes I wonder if it was even me --- the person who feared so much is so far from the person I am now. I have surpassed my phobia and will never let it overcome me again; but I am no more free of it than an alcoholic who has been sober for years is free of his/her addiction --- I know that the patterns of thinking, the raw emotional responses, are still there, and they do still resurface from time to time. Now, however, I know I have the strength and the support to get beyond them, whereas before I floundered, not believing I had the potential to recover.

Anyway, that's my story. Sorry to go on for so long, but I wanted to offer my experience as a tale of hope for anyone out there who is reading this and struggling with their own fears --- you can get beyond them, and they don't have to rule your life. There's no miracle cure, but good friends and hard work will triumph. I for one am always available to listen if anyone wants to talk...

*standing proudly on the soapbox, no longer hiding under it*

--- sweetstuff

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"You can't test courage cautiously." --- Annie Dillard

well i dont work the nite shift....but 2p-10p is bad enough.
and i keep thinkin of these phobias i have...lol
when im at work sometimes i have to climb the ladder to do something...i get so tense that when i am done i can barely walk because i have tensed my legs up so much from the fear of falling off the ladder or having it collapse or something

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~~Life is sexually transmitted and always fatal~~

~~Reality bites but thats what life is~~

<The crowd cheers and dozens upon dozens of flowers are thrown to SFC's feet>
Very inspirational SFC!! Thank you for being so willing to share yourself in this way... sometimes that's harder than sharing your body. You never cease to blow my mind, with words or images, drawn or sketched. Now just keep standing on that soapbox so I can gaze a little longer...

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Wow, thanks, Aqua... I decided when I overcame my own phobia that it was important to talk about it when the opportunity arose, because one of the worst parts of the experience was the feeling that I was completely alone in what I was feeling. Didn't even have a name for the fear for years... Knowing that there were other people out there with the same feelings was one of the things that helped me get beyond the terror.

And now, to make this even more of a saccharine Hallmark moment, I just want to say that all of you people here at Pixies' have helped me to come out of my shell in ways that you can't even begin to imagine --- and I'm not just talking about stripping off my clothing, although that's part of it. So I want to thank each and every one of you for being the funny, warm, and supportive people you are!

Group-grope for everyone!!!

--- sweetstuff

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"You can't test courage cautiously." --- Annie Dillard

I'm always ready for a Pixies group-grope!!

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Kimmer22---I have a friend;who owns two(2)all night(7-11 type)
stores.One is right near an interstate highway exit.For a while;he
was having trouble with people;coming in drunk;and hassling&
robbing his night staff.I have a concealed weapons permit and
offered to fill in a few nights until his problems were over.He said;
"Thanks for the offer;but I know you!You'll get pissed off and
someone will get hurt!It's only money.I'd rather they got the money and no one got hurt.That's why I have insurance."It would
be better if more people thought that way.It wouldn't have been my way of handling it;but it makes more sense.I must be getting
older.My macho thinking is being replaced by rational thoughts.
Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

being traped or buried alive big fear things like the sept 11
i can not watch scares the shit out of me have a deep
resect for the emegancy servaces ho dea with every day

My phobia - acrophobia, fear of heights... can't get up on the roof, a problem when I needed to reshingle the mini-barn (only 8 ft off the ground, but may as well been 8000 ft) had to have a bud come over to finish the job, cleaning the gutters wears me out cuz I lock my knees to keep from shaking, and let's not even talk about glass elevators & those atrium lobbies.... who's the friggin' sadisitic bastard architect that came up with THAT?!?

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I have a few I am so scared of clowns it isn't funny and the seconed is having a car fall off the hoist onto me one day some jack ass started lowering a car on me and since then I always keep one eye on the controls and the last is clausterphobia(sp?) when I was a kid my mother put me in a laundry hamper and then sat on the lid so I couldn't get out and I guess it stuck

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Some people they like to go out dancing
and other peoples they have to work, just watch me now
And there's even some evil mothers, haha
well they're gonna tell you that everything is just dirt
You know that women never really faint and that villains always blink their eyes, ooohhh
And that, you know children are the only ones who blush
and that life is just to die

sweet jane the velvet underground

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"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

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CLOWNS SCARE THE SHITE OUT OF ME. Even the lil clown on yahoo makes me shiver...........................*cries*

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"No lover is worth your tears, and the one that is will never make you cry"

Spiders of course...something about all those legs. I don't care if they are the size of a pencil eraser either and some of 'em are furry little devils and some hop..oh it's just freaky.

Also long bridges that are over water. All I can think about when I'm on one is the bridge collapsing and my car going into the water and dying. I try to avoid them at all costs.