Yesterday, a close friend asked a favor, for me to go over to a rental home he has and find why his tenant didn't have power in the outlets at the back of the house. A quick check confirmed our initial suspicion that the not-too-sharp tenant didn't understand how to reset a circuit breaker. With his absence I took the wife/girlfriend to the service panel and pointed out how when the breaker is not COMPLETELY in the 'on' position, you first have to flip it to the 'off' position, THEN to the 'on' position, so the mechanical linkage can engage and close the contact until an overload current causes the magnets inside to open it and prevent over heating. She made a disgruntled comment about "He's a man. He's spose to know bout dat! "

Two things ran through my mind as I drove home, about the comment. Why in this age of 'equality' and political correctness, does being born male, intuitively endow that person with technical knowledge and why does it exclude another gender from minimal functioning abilities of the world they have equal ownership/management rights and responsibilities in?

Understanding the exclusion of old attitude holdovers and also that there are people who's learning capabilities are much lower than others, the question becomes how much of our expectation and personal responsibilities are still shrouded in gender based views of life. Why is it still the 'understood' job of the man to connect the new DVD player into the cable-VCR-home theater-stereo-TV system? Why are we still surprised/impressed when a lady pops open the hood of another car and correctly connects jumper cables to start it?

We all know of exceptions to some of these stereotypes, but is our view of "the division of labor" only focused in the work place? You may not feel the need to know the internal workings of a circuit breaker, but as a home owner, does your gender preclude or obligate you to or from knowing the basic operating functions?

Or has the whole technical nature of our environment become so overwhelming that we use the subconscious gender designation as a default to relieve ourselves of basic responsibilities of everyday function? This thought can expand to many aspect of our 'western social structure' (as it USE to be known ), but do you feel there are areas of unconscious gender biases, outside the work place, for expectation, limitation and excuse in all of us?

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I completely agree that there is definatley an underlying gender bias still very prevailant in today's "equal" society. In my house, for example, despite the fact that my mum and I are probably the ones with the most technical know-how, it's clear that my dad still feels that it should be his role in the family.

In broader terms though, it was mentioned in another thread recently about women paying their way on dates. There are many things like this where we often automatically fall into our stereotypical gender-based roles.

Being someone who's always found myself in conflict with gender stereotypes, I can actually find it quite hard sometimes when people expect me to fall in line with my gender. And I'm not completely masculine either...

I also feel like it's going too far against the original "oppressors" and forgetting to keep up with the previously "oppressed", much like what I can find with anti-racism sometimes... For example, at a mixed-gender workplace the men and women decide on separate nights out. If the men choose to go to a strip-club it would likely be frowned apon, but if the women decided on Chip'n'Dales, then it would be less so. Perhaps a poor example, but I can't think of a better right now.

Anyway, just my

I don't know, I think it's all about survival. Since I'm a single homeowner, twice, I'm forced to know as much as I can about how things work in my house or pay to have some experience tradesman everytime something ticks or flickers.

Oddly enough, my Dad tries to help me with things when he's available (lives 1000 miles away) but for the most part I need him for a second set of hands or the physical strength he has. I think it makes him both proud and sad all at once that I'm capable.

But I can easily see where women who don't ever have the NEED to take care of the house simply don't bother learning about it.

Also, when it comes to cars. My Dad made it a point for me to know how to change a tire and jump a battery in the event that I ever needed to do those things. It was so long ago that I'm not certain I'd be able to now. That's why when my car started giving me fits it got traded in on a new problem free model.

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When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing.

I did that with my daughters. I had them actually change a tire so they'd have the experience ... just in case. Still, I would hope they wouldn't have to unless they simply wanted to.

Of course, being old fashioned, I still hold the door for my wife (most of the time) when she gets into the car. It just feels right to me to do that. I guess if she complained, I would stop, but would probably feel a bit uneasy about it. In fact, I generally hold the door open for ladies entering a store or offer my seat if I'm sitting in a waiting room and notice a lady standing because no chairs are available.

I guess I don't think about that being gender bias. What do you laides think?

The world is complicated, and so are gender relationships. The old stereotypes are changing, but at a slower rate than one might think. Perhaps because there's so much complexity in the world that adding more is simply something that most people tend to avoid...and changing the roles adds complexity too!

I know about circuit breakers and cars and installing DVD players. I do all this stuff at our home. Not because Mr Osuche can't...more because I'm typically more attentive to the details of life. He's an absent minded scientist.

He still opens jars and kills spiders, though. He does these things because I cannot or I hate doing them...as a gesture of respect and consideration for me. Not because he's a man.

And I do most of the cooking and cleaning and shopping. Not because I am a woman, but because I am better at it. He sucks at the little details of life, but I love him anyway.

As a person...I tend to adapt my style and expectations to my companion's beliefs, needs, and abilities. If my partner were a master chef, I'd encourage him to cook. If my partner liked re-wiring the house or doing remodeling, I'd be happy to encourage him. It's about respecting your partner and letting them participate in the relationship, in the way they want to participate. Heck with the gender bias.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

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How much of this is what we've been taught, not what we've learned?

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Hmmm, that's a tough call OF.

After my folks divorced when I was 11 yrs. old, I basically was "the man of the house" and my "duties" were pretty much everything that my dad had done while they were together. (Actually, I did a bit more than he ever did but that's another story.)

With my mom, it wasn't that she didn't want to know how to do some of the "typical man duties" it was that my dad simply wouldn't allow her because he felt as if, "Men should be men!"

I wanted so badly to be different from that man that I learned pretty much everything I could. When mom was working I cooked, cleaned, did yardwork, laundry, etc..... Paid off in the long run since I never did get married but I never once looked at any of those "duties" as being gender specific. Just look at them as things that need to get done and well, if I'm the one who can do it or if there is a woman who is able to do it then as long as it gets done............. what's the difference?

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Have a whole collection of thoughts on this one, but I'm gonna need to save em for when I can come back with a little more time on my hands...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Excuse him ^^^ I think he's busy trying to get the door open on the service panel.

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at least he was able to FIND the service panel PF!

I guess the answer is "It shouldn't, and doesn't always, but sometimes still does."

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.