LOL You should see my Craigslist ad. The title was, "I need you to bleed my radiators".

Not realizing I put the wrong time on heating my coffee..........I burned my tongue!

Walking right by the Chinese restaurant on a walk...then walking back to pick up dinner an hour later. I need better multi-tasking skills!

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

I'm usually hungry an hour after I've eaten Chinese food...not walked past the restaurant.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

I came into work.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

I know the feeling.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Well........we had expired food at work and we have to destroy it so peeps dumpster diving don't get it, so I have all these cans I thought I was gonna have to open when my boss tells me "Naw, just take the labels off". So nice of her to tell me that after 2 weeks ago I opened all those dam peaches!!!!!!

I did'nt check the school's website until after I sent the child to the bus stop. There is no school again today.

So much for the email thing I signed up for from the local TV station letting me know when school was cancled.

I tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen, poured myself a cup of ambition...




using a juice glass.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Just about 20 minutes ago.............

I decided that I'd go out and get all the snow that we've had today off of the car and make sure that it would still start. So, I throw on the coat, stocking hat, scarf and gloves and head out to the car. Well, I forgot my shoes.

Yeah, the snow was a tad bit cold on my feet since I was wearing a pair of bedroom slippers. But no, that wasn't bonehead move enough for this guy. Rather than turn around and take the two steps to get back in the house I continue out to the car. Probably 15 yds. There's a constant, "Fuck!, Damn! Shit, this FUCKING cold!" kind of thing coming from my mouth. So I get to the car and realize I left the damn keys inside on the kitchen table.

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Look on the bright side at least you didn't lock the door.

__________________
it's only kinky the first time

it's not the orgasm but getting there thats fun

a shot in the bush is worth two in the hand

whip me, beat me, tie me up, break my arm, but please don't break my heart

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid people are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" -Bertrand Russell

__________________

I wore high heels and walked 20 miles to work.

OK...it wasn't 20 miles, but it felt like it.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

__________________

Fixed myself a snack (TV dinner) in the microwave yesterday. Cooking went fine ... everything looked good. Took it into the other room ... got busy watching TV and forgot about the food. When my wife got home, she looked at the then cold dinner asked what the dinner was for?