is the theme of the book I'm currently reading. While struggling through it just last night, I was coming to grips with the fact that there are some pretty heavy topics that the author has you thinking about. A list of questions that they have you answer honestly, and with much thought. At the end, you'll have a good understanding of what you have to work with, and advice on where to go from there.

Questions like:

When's the last time you were afraid to be alone?
How did your parents respond to your actions as a child?
In what ways are you very much like your father...your mother?
Do you treat your children like your parents treated you?


Like I said, very deep digging topics. Things I have a hard time thinking about. And it was at that precise instant when I noticed that I, myself, was at that very moment...seeking to make peace with my past!



















while moving my bowels.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

When you figure out how to make peace with your past...send the book to me, please.

__________________


"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Can I ask the title of this book? It sounds like an interesting read..

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Though dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts; they serve for sweet relieving when fantasy and reality lie too far apart.-Fiona Apple

WI, I've been trying to do the same thing recently. I think it's a life-long process, but I've been starting in little ways...such as my post on Red's "love your body" thread.

There are a heck of a lot of people who have it worse than me ~ so I don't feel entitled to complain ~ but I didn't have an idyllic childhood. And that changes you...makes you less likely to trust, more guarded against risks, and sometimes clouds your judgement.

I've been trying to celebrate the positives. Those bad experiences don't go away...but they have made me who I am. Because of them, I know that I have the strength to get through almost anything. I have empathy for others ~ because I know how precious life really is...and because I also understand that bad things can happen to good people. I try to take the time to share a hug, some food, care, money...anything....with others ~ because I know those little things *do* matter, and because I know that timely help has restored my faith in mankind on several occasions.

The end result? Who knows. All I know is that I have to get through it, otherwise I'm going to end up raising kids as screwed up as I was. And I want them to find NEW ways to be screwed up.

If you ever want to talk, WI....PM me. I'd love to hear about your progress.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

A very deep issue WildIrish.

I don't think the questions are related directly to your past, they are more related to your future and current state. Making peace with yourself (IMHO) should not involve parents or your actions as a child. IMHO, making peace with yourself should be about making peace with yourself NOW. Otherwise, it will just become a whirling pool.

for example:
When's the last time you were afraid to be alone?
Never
How did your parents respond to your actions as a child?
Understanding but demanding
In what ways are you very much like your father...your mother?
Stubborness yes but that is the reason you fight about. Like the story of 2 goats on the bridge.
Do you treat your children like your parents treated you?
NO
and i want to add another question to this:
WILL you treat your children like your parents treated you?
NO

Being in peace with your past must be a hard thing... Obviously we all have done things in the past that we still regret. I guess being in peace with yourself is a better solution. If you accept your fault in the things you regret (the past) you'll evidentally make peace with your past.

Good topic

osuche,

I agree with you. But still, it is you who "celebrate the positives". It is your look to yourself NOW, not as the PAST

I am going to have to respectfully disagree with you, joys. While you make a valid point about looking to yourself in the now, who you are at this current moment is shaped by your past, be it positive or negative. Your childhood and your parents have had a great influence on who you are today, and if you are not accepting of what happened to you in the past, then there is no way you can come to terms with who you are now.

__________________
I see your fantasy... you want to make it a reality

Are you in the mood to be subdued

You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

Tie me to the bedpost

I like it rough
cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all