Two very wise women here suggested I write in the Advice board. So I shall.

If any of you have struggled with a sexual identiy crisis, please can you give me any suggestions? This thing is tearing me apart. To question my sexual identity at nearly 53 years old just doesn't seem right, and it is damn inconvenient.
How do I deal with wondering if I have been gay all my life but choose the wrong lifestyle, that is, straight?

If you respond (((((((((((((((((please!))))))))))))))))))) consider that my earliest sexual experiences were gay before I hardly knew what sex was, and used to try on womens clothes as recently as 20 years ago. I've been in and out of adult book stores getting bj's all my life. Hell, I'm answering my own question aren't I? I'm scared people.

P.S. Please, please if I am being a bore, a baby, an ass, whatever and bringing everybody down with my personal crap, tell me. This is supposed to be a fun board, and I'm not always very fun. I ask because I can't see myself as clearly as you can. If I'm turning people off or, worse, chasing people away, please tell me.

Larry, it would be cruel that anyone would dare to call you a bore...etc...etc.... Many of us have the luxury of knowing who we are sexually, but to be human, we all have things that are odd or not quite right. Mine is that I don't think I could love again...but that is me.

AS to your situation you need to look within and find the answer. Truth be told we are all lonely inside our own heads (maybe save for those with multipal personalities)--the important thing is to be honest with yourself and not try to fudge the answers to your questions. All I can say is I can be thankful that this isn't one of my problems--haha!

Thank you?

Good words man. You will probably hate me for this, but I think love is what promped you to respond to my post. So yes, love can touch you, affect you, move you. It may be that you don't "give" love as in loving again. It may be that love gives itself to you. All you need to do is receive. Love loves you.

Told you you would hate me for that crap.

Thanks again for caring enough to respond. I appreciate that and you.

I don't have any good words of advice for you, but want to offer you lots of *hugs* and a boatload of courage for ya.

Well wait, I do want to say something to you. The trying on of womens clothing could simply be telling you that you have the type of personality where textures and the phsycial sensation of touch means more to you than some.
I had a male friend who felt a bit of agony because he loved...I mean LOVED the sensation of womens pantyhose on his body. I believe he came to terms with it when he was told that he had a tactile nature about him......

does this make sense to you?

Would it be a "crisis" if you were gay?

To be honest, I find women/the female human body to be incredibly sexy and quite a turn on, but I don't feel gay about it at all. I feel very heterosexual and behave that way.
Is the feeling that you ARE gay something you fear, and if so, why?

Did I just overwhelm you with questions? LOL I surely hope not.

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

I don't have any real experience in this area, I know that we have a couple of members who come to Pixies here and there who have started here in one "form" and then opened up to share more of themselves with us as time went by. I think whenever that happens it is a great compliment to all, that a person feels able to safely reveal more of themself - it's a great compliment to the person who reveals more of himself as well .... it's not an easy thing to do!!!

Now as to the question about if you are gay .... I'm sure you are the only one who can discover the answer to that, however, I've come to realize that there are more choices that people make that fall in between being strait or gay as well, as a sinewhat related i.e., "cross-dressing" there are those who live that choice full time, part time, occassionally and any of those could be strait, gay or bi-sexual. There are men who don't do cross-dressing full out, but like to wear women's underwear .. sometimes, just as Randygal says, it's a tactile/texture kind of thing and feels sexy to them.

No matter what answer you come to discover about yourself, your life to this point has not been wasted, life is a journey, a time of discovery and in my experience, we discover things about ourselves when it is the right time to do so and when we are able to deal with the issues that come with each new discovery.

The thing that I have come to believe is most important in this life is that we do what we can to help others and love them and ourself along the way .... everything I've learned about you is that you are a loving giving man, still working on the part about loving yourself, but you certainly do much in support of others. That is not wasted time or life! Sending hugs your way!!!

I think they all have some good advice for you. I don't know what to tell you about this, maybe I shouldn't even be replying here anyway.

All I have to say is I want YOU to be YOU and do what YOUR heart feels is right.....IN EVERYTHING YOU DO IN LIFE!

I'll always be right here for ya!

Hugs are being sent your way!

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~Tainted Love~