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  #1  
Old 08-31-2006, 08:26 PM
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Pita Pita is offline
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Why? Why? Why? Things to Ponder...

Why? Why? Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?!

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string! a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you goof!"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you.
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  #2  
Old 08-31-2006, 08:32 PM
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Lol.......
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  #3  
Old 08-31-2006, 08:33 PM
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I could tell you some father in law jokes
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  #4  
Old 08-31-2006, 08:35 PM
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wyndhy wyndhy is offline
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"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you."

phew....i'm totally good
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  #5  
Old 08-31-2006, 10:51 PM
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Fangtasia Fangtasia is offline
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Its called wishful thinking...if i press harder i will NOT have to actually get up and do it by hand

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
'Cause they're a pack of thieving bastards!

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
I don't believe them but i cant count them all...but i CAN touch the wet paint

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
'Cause the bottle is sealed and its the air that dries the glue that makes it stick (my theory anyway *LOL*)

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
'Cause they wanna know they got ya not some nasty bug

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Cheetah is a good groomer??

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?!
*LOL* interesting...will take note when i watch Smallville next time!

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
'Cause it looks good?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Someone who doesnt have a lisp obviously

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
They're the dumb ones we REALLY needed to leave outta the gene pool...though some slipped through it seems

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Hmmmmm must look into that

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Nope *LOL*

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
It's that wishful thinking thing again

Why do people keep running over a string! a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Look back to the ape answer....i certainly dont do that!

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
*LOL* yeah they will

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They fly or crawl in there?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you goof!"
'Cause thats polite *LOL*...though i have said the other too

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
'Cause we got our eye on what we are catching NOT on what may be in the way of the catching process

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
I don't keep my house THAT warm

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
We could fix that

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
I KNOW its me *LMAO*
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  #6  
Old 08-31-2006, 11:47 PM
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scotzoidman scotzoidman is offline
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Quote:
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Obviously written by someone who never tried to use a Super Glue tube a second time...or Gorilla Glue, for that matter...always makes me think of the old joke about a scientist who developed an acid that would eat thru everything, but couldn't find a container to keep it in...
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  #7  
Old 09-01-2006, 05:22 AM
jseal jseal is offline
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Alassė,

Here in the States, we also drive on the parkway and park in the driveway.
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  #8  
Old 09-01-2006, 06:26 AM
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Pita Pita is offline
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LOL, Loved your answers Alassė
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  #9  
Old 09-01-2006, 06:27 AM
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dicksbro dicksbro is offline
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LOL ... the questions ... AND ... the "answers"
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  #10  
Old 09-01-2006, 07:37 AM
mildy kinky cpl mildy kinky cpl is offline
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lmao, they are very funny.
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  #11  
Old 09-01-2006, 07:38 AM
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WildIrish WildIrish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinglingTess
Why? Why? Why? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?



Cus my kids are too young to be married.
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  #12  
Old 09-01-2006, 08:06 AM
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Good one.
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