04-07-2005, 10:13 PM
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Pixies Den Mother
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: No-Hockey Land, dammit!!
Posts: 11,897
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Good to Bad to Worse
BAD: You can't find your vibrator.
WORSE: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
BAD: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
WORSE: You're in it.
BAD: Your children are sexually active.
WORSE: With each other.
BAD: Your husband's a cross dresser.
WORSE: He looks better than you.
BAD: Your son's involved in Satanism.
WORSE: As a sacrifice.
BAD: Your wife wants a divorce.
WORSE: She's a lawyer.
BAD: Your wife's leaving you.
WORSE: For another woman.
BAD: Your wife's leaving you.
WORSE: To enter a convent.
BAD: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
WORSE: She implicates you.
GOOD: Hot outdoor sex.
BAD: You're arrested.
WORSE: By your husband.
GOOD: The postman's early.
BAD: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.
GOOD: The secretary said "yes."
BAD: Your wife says "no."
GOOD: The teacher likes your son.
BAD: Sexually.
WORSE: He's gay.
GOOD: You came home for a quickie.
BAD: So did the postman.
GOOD: You came home for a quickie.
BAD: Your wife walks in.
GOOD: You get a three-day weekend.
BAD: You get the flu on Friday.
GOOD: You get tickets to the theatre.
BAD: It's performance art.
GOOD: You go to see a strip show.
BAD: Your daughter's the headliner.
GOOD: Your boyfriend's exercising.
BAD: So he'll fit in your clothes.
GOOD: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."
BAD: For real.
GOOD: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
BAD: Your son, that is.
GOOD: Your daughter's on the Pill.
BAD: She's eleven.
GOOD: Your neighbour exercises in the nude.
BAD: He weighs 350 pounds.
GOOD: Your son's doing extra credit work.
BAD: Making a sex-ed video.
GOOD: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
BAD: It's counterfeit.
GOOD: Your wife bought a porn video.
BAD: Your daughter's the star.
GOOD: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
BAD: You live downtown.
GOOD: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
BAD: She's coming home.
GOOD: Your wife's kinky.
BAD: With the neighbors.
WORSE: All of them.
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