just had the chance of running into my ex..
seems for one to find out she's already found a new bf.. 2 or so months after we ended.. but even more so.. i find out this new bf was the reason my love was not returned how i wished it to be.. She was torn between him and i.. said she never did anything with him while we were together but that she kept seeing him..

How am i supposed to respond to that? I know we are through.. but it would be a blatant lie to tell her that im fine.. or that it doesnt make me angry..

To think that my time.. the years i spent with her.. were a simple waste of time.. That i was just a tool to her.. WTF

Why do i have such luck... i never did anything to deserve such bullshit in my life.. i've never broken any mirrors... and the only heart to be broken in my recollection is my own? Will this shit ever stop? i get the feeling it won't and every day is just another serious of highs and lows.. the lows sincerely outweighing any highs..

my buddy tells me thats what life is..

He is 38, married - seperated with a 9yr old and 1 1/2 yr him and his ole lady are getting along well being seperated.. but anyways

he says.. it won't get better.. least for him it hasn't yet.. says same day you wake up to a whole new load of bullshit.. you have to deal with it.. and move on to the next day to deal with the bullshit.. Says its a downward spiral you just have to hold on tight and climb up as much as you can as you fall. he has something he has to work for however.. he can't give up he has his children to take care of..

i don't have anything like that i have no reason to just fall.. its so tempting not to just give up.... i don't see a point in this struggling.. so hard.. and difficult for something that isn't worth it..

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Fantasy is only as as fake as your body wants it to be.