1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.

Bad: It's triplets.

Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.



2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you.

Bad: She wants a divorce.

Ugly: She's a lawyer.



3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.

Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.

Ugly: So are you.



4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.

Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.

Ugly: You're in them.



5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.

Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.

Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.



6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.

Bad: He's a cross-dresser.

Ugly: He looks better than you.



7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your

daughter.

Bad: She keeps interrupting.

Ugly: With corrections.



8. Good: The postman's early.

Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.

Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.



9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.

Bad: It's another man.

Ugly: He's your best friend.



10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.

Bad: As a hooker.

Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.

Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.